BMF|Fs.Knights Squadron Activity Report

[Shoebill]

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▤ RECIPIENT == BMF|Fs.Knights Squadron
▤ SENDER == Galath Ridire
▤ LOCATION == New Camelot, Tau-23 System
▤ SUBJECT == Taxation Report - Buy_N_Large / Armor Capable Chair?
▤ PRIORITY == P-4 Low

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▤ ENCRYPTION == High
▤ SIGNAL STRENGTH == High
▤ AUDIO == Off
▤ VIDEO == Off
▤ TEXT == Text Only

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Men,

DATE : 12.03.835AS
TAXED VESSEL : Buy_N_Large
AMOUNT : 50K

On the 12.03.835AS while on a standard patrol of the Tau-23 System I encounter a trading vessel its name was "Buy_N_Large" It appeared to be unmanned but had some kind of AI control system with a forwarding of messages capabilities to its owners. The machine was extremely eccentric in nature I had decided to destroy it when its owners approved the vessel to forward the passage fee.

The only other thing maybe worth of note was that they appear to market some kind of chair capable of supporting the weight of our armor, unbeknownst to them and this gave me pause. Thankfully there is enough fat gits out there that they run a production line on such a chair. I will have my ship engineer look into purchasing this chair for a test run, it may become standard across the squadrons ships for Knight Commanders.

Strength of Ten,

G.Ridire

Galath Ridire
Squadron Leader
The Knights Squadron
Bretonia Mining & Fabrication

Communication Records

[12.03.2025 04:30:16] BMF|Fs-Galahad: Galath Ridire : Hail.
[12.03.2025 04:30:22] Buy_N_Large: Greeting friend, from Buy_N_Large, your local superstore!
[12.03.2025 04:30:36] BMF|Fs-Galahad: Galath Ridire : By Bretonian Royal Charter #828 P1-7 or The Tau Privileges Charter to BMF I am ordering you to stop.
[12.03.2025 04:31:19] BMF|Fs-Galahad: GR : How are you this evening?
[12.03.2025 04:31:26] Buy_N_Large: Greetings, this is an AI controlled vessel run by the Buy N Large Corporation, we will connect you to our legal team!
[12.03.2025 04:31:38] Buy_N_Large: <<() Cisco Opus One hold music begins playing a sweet soft tune ()>>
[12.03.2025 04:31:52] BMF|Fs-Galahad: GR : Fantastic...
[12.03.2025 04:31:55] Buy_N_Large: "Have you tried the newest Buy N Large product? The MEGA CHAIR. Strong enough to support 800 pounts!"
[12.03.2025 04:32:09] Buy_N_Large: "This call is very important to us, please hold while we connect you!"
[12.03.2025 04:32:10] BMF|Fs-Galahad: GR : Hey that sounds kinda nice
[12.03.2025 04:32:21] Buy_N_Large: "Have you tried our toothpaste flavor? Made with organic Iridium! Side effects include: vomiting, pain and death!"
[12.03.2025 04:32:33] Buy_N_Large: This is Jennifer with the BnL legal department! I'm so excited to speak with you today! How may we help? :-)
[12.03.2025 04:32:39] BMF|Fs-Galahad: GR : Well the vomiting might not be so bad.
[12.03.2025 04:32:50] BMF|Fs-Galahad: Galath Ridire : By Bretonian Royal Charter #828 P1-7 or The Tau Privileges Charter to BMF I am ordering you to stop.
[12.03.2025 04:32:57] BMF|Fs-Galahad: Galath Ridire : You are required to pay a tax of 50000 credits to carry on your operations in this space.
[12.03.2025 04:33:03] Buy_N_Large: One moment while I place you on a brief hold, I will confirm with my superior and get back to you shortly!
[12.03.2025 04:33:11] Buy_N_Large: <<() Cisco Opus One hold music begins playing a sweet soft tune ()>>
[12.03.2025 04:33:49] BMF|Fs-Galahad: *Galath flicks up the safetys on his console*
[12.03.2025 04:33:57] Buy_N_Large: "Buy N Large, your local superstore! We sell everything from furniture, to nuclear weapons!"
[12.03.2025 04:34:12] Buy_N_Large: We can accomodate that request! Please send a trade request to our AI vessel.
[12.03.2025 04:35:00] BMF|Fs-Galahad: Galath Ridire : Thank you for your cooperation, have a good day.
[12.03.2025 04:35:13] Buy_N_Large: Have a Buy N Large day!
[12.03.2025 04:35:34] BMF|Fs-Galahad: GR : Ill be reaching out about that Chair if your listeing Ai?
[12.03.2025 04:35:57] Buy_N_Large: Available in all local retail mega chains!
[12.03.2025 04:36:27] Buy_N_Large: Using the finest slave labor to keep the costs down for you, the customer!