We all have nightmares now

[34th Brigade]

Samuel is one of the new soldiers of the Brigade. Not a pilot, not a professional agent, not some great scientist, but a simple soldier. With a laser rifle in his hands.

Someone is always required to protect the sides of large ships and ensure that the infection does not suddenly overwhelm the vessel. Someone must maintain order when the crew senses something is wrong and decides to panic. The infantry units of the Brigade, in fact, maintain this order. Their task is to guard what outsiders should not get to and those who serve the Order day and night. Someone has to stay awake so that others can sleep peacefully.

The hardships of service were supplemented by the character of the senior on the cruiser "Hades" - Jimm Nimes. Although he was a professional in his field, his "charisma" created for him a reputation as a stern commander, which preceded him. Samuel often saw him curse at some poor guy who screwed up for a second. Samuel also saw Jim sometimes use physical force on his subordinates who screwed up a little more seriously than "for a second." All this was accompanied by streams of abuse and hatred for the guilty party.

Usually this concerned the newbies. Those who had already served on board the "Hades" for more than a year were fine with everything. Jim did not touch them, and they obeyed his every order. Which was unusual, because Samuel believed that such commanders would be the first to be killed in a firefight. When he got on board the cruiser, he quickly figured out what and how things worked here, and therefore served diligently and with dignity. Some in his squad thought that he simply "wanted to be the most correct, to curry favor with Jimm." The newcomers were skeptical of Samuel, but the veterans were the opposition and saw Samuel as a proper soldier.

Samuel himself simply wanted to be left alone. He came here to protect humanity, not to listen to some old psycho scream at him. After all, he was a good shot, knew the regulations well, and valued his mission to protect the Order's agents not in space, but on their own ships. He didn't care what kind of past Jimm had, since he behaved like that. But he did wonder why Helson didn't pay attention to Jimm's behavior even when he was scolding another private right in front of him.

Adam was much fairer to his subordinates.

...

And then Samuel began asking questions to the veterans. They communicated well with him, since he had definitely earned their trust. He started from afar and tried to gradually approach the main question, so that no one would think badly of his curiosity. It all began with simple topics: about who and how they got into The Order, who and how long they had been serving, about the homeland of certain veterans. It was interesting how the interlocutors often contradicted themselves.

Oh yes, they understood from the first seconds that something was fishy here. But Samuel understood that there was nowhere to retreat. When he served his six months, some kind of connection appeared between the answers. There were fewer contradictions. It became clear to him that there was no talk of any trust six months ago. It was as if he had risen to a new level. In his eighth month of service, when the line between him, his comrades and the "old generation" of Hades began to blur, Samuel, in one of the conversations on night patrol, asked a question:

"I wonder... Helson doesn't blame Jimm for his... Well... 'Approach'. And you communicate with him better than I do, for example. Why is everything so strangely arranged?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, uh... There is clearly some reason why Adam hasn't scolded Jimm for the things he does on board the ship. I mean, he appreciates him for something, and... Anyway, what happened when we weren't here?"

There were two veterans and Samuel on patrol at the time. One had only served for a year, and the other had been part of Hades' crew for five years. He literally started serving on board the ship with Jimm.

"We don't talk about it. There are reasons why he behaves this way."

"What are the reasons, in short?"

"You'll find out later."

"Hey, Mike, I was wondering too." - John looked at the five-year veteran. - "Like, yeah, Jimm's a good commander, and those who've served here a long time don't doubt his talents. But damn, there's something more serious than the harsh morals of the Order. Is this related to the Expedition?"

The Expedition? An awkward silence. Mike's expression changed.

"One more question, and he will find out about this conversation."

After that, Samuel kept his mouth shut. Those who served on Hades for a long time were not talkative. This concerned those who had served for more than two years. And Samuel didn't want to ruin his reputation under Jimm's yoke. But he was close to solving the mystery. Very close.

...

Night. Samuel made all the preparations for the next day, as he had another night shift ahead of him. Just as he was drifting off to sleep, he heard loud conversations outside the door. Nimes was passing by.

"Where is he?"

"In the holding cell. We assigned two guards to him and handcuffed him. He jumped out of nowhere, sweating. Good thing he wasn't armed. So we took action."

"Yeah, yeah, that's right-"

Samuel couldn't hear the rest of the conversation, but Jimm seemed distracted by the last words. Had someone gotten infected? Here on Hades? Had something happened? Who was to blame? Who let it happen?

Samuel spent the entire next day waiting for the patrol. The same group: Him, Mike, and John. This time, their shift was taken by none other than Jimm.

"Okay, we've signed everything, sorted out the bureaucracy, and received the weapons. That seems to be it. Now for the orders.

John, you're in charge. Together with Samuel, keep an eye on Mike and all three of you keep your eyes peeled. I'll be on duty for the entire cruiser tonight. If you hear, see, or feel anything suspicious, stop, move back a few meters, and only then report to me personally.

I've declared a curfew for the entire Hades from the moment the watch begins. Only you and other patrol groups may walk aboard the cruiser. And that's the only way. No authorized persons sheets today, Mike."

He just nodded.

"If you see a crew member, an agent, or, I don't give a shit, Helson himself, walking around at the wrong time, you grab them and report them to me. If the suspicious person tries to resist, then they can be eliminated. Under my responsibility. Any questions?"

"Is this related to yesterday?" - Mike was obviously already aware of what happened yesterday. And other veterans had obviously told him about it.

"Directly. You can tell these two too when you go for a walk. Any other questions?"

Having received a negative answer, Jimm left them alone with themselves.

It was very strange somehow. Mike was usually the leader of the patrols, and now they were assigning him to someone who had served five times less than him. John was as surprised as the others by this turn of events, but orders were orders. When curfew came, all three of them set out on their route.

...

They had to react to everything. To every click, every rustle, every shadow, without taking their eyes off Mike. John immediately told him to walk in front. The standard movement pattern, invented by Jim: the leader of the column and two or three people behind. One should always keep one hand on the shoulder of the leader of the column, and hold a pistol in the other and aim it over his shoulder. Neither John nor Samuel understood anything about this part. But John decided to play it safe and ordered his partner to put his hand on Mike's shoulder, take the pistol and just be on the alert.

They walked like this for about an hour. They periodically met other patrolmen, exchanged greetings and moved on. Samuel was hooked by the detail that if before the veterans moved in their own groups, now each group had only one veteran. And all the rest were new. Some hadn't even served a month.

"Hey, Mike, what happened yesterday?"

Mike suddenly stopped and made a stop sign for everyone else. John got into a fighting stance, pointing his gun at the empty corridor in front of them. Samuel pointed the gun in the same direction, simultaneously clutching Mike's shoulder. Now it dawned on him: if something was going to the head of the column leader, then the stop sign literally meant "Danger!"

Mike stood there for about ten seconds, then made another sign that it was time to move on. A false alarm. Samuel loosened his grip, and John continued asking questions.

"So what happened yesterday?"

"Patrick had nightmares. The guy jumped out at the patrol and ended up in the detention center for it."

"But it wasn't for nothing that Jimm took all sorts of measures on this patrol? Our veterans always went together, we were lucky to even be in your group before all this."

"Yeah, you got it right there, Samuel. It wasn't for nothing. It had to do with the Expedition."

What?

"You said that Jimm would find out about this conversation."

"It doesn't matter anymore."

Why?

"Let's stop and have a smoke. We have a smoking room right on our route."

...

The smoking room was a small room with an ashtray inside and a couple of chairs. There were several of these on the cruiser. From time to time, the crew needed a simple smoke break, the main condition was that this could not be done outside the smoking room. The patrolmen were regulars at such places. For obvious reasons.

Mike sat down across from John, and Samuel took the seat furthest from the door. As soon as the cigarette flame caught and the room filled with smoke, Mike lowered his head slightly and began to talk.

"In general, in any case, Jimm will tell about all this. Those who were on the Expedition are clearly already crazy people. Yes, we are the best in our business, but the nightmares...

This is about what happened there. So detailed, as if we were going back there. To each of those events. Someone drank himself to death because of it and is already in a mental hospital on Akabat. Someone learned to live with it and move on. Fortunately for us, those who learned to live turned out to be much more numerous than those who completely went crazy.

I personally remember that the incident that happened yesterday, it... This could only happen during the Expedition, but certainly not in Sirius. Usually we just woke up, realized that it was all over, and went to bed."

He looked at them.

"What happened on the Expedition?" - Samuel, without realizing it, said these words.

"You don't want to know."

Silence. The only sound is the smoldering of cigarettes.

"We all had the same feeling when we returned to Sirius. Like something was still holding us there, and we hadn't returned.

Like the Expedition was still going on. Like we were just in one big nightmare and living in an illusion.

Something crossed Sirius and came for us."