I sit here with my eyes shut as if I was in consecrated archives, the lines of ancient ink still draw themselves in my mind. You could stare at them for hours, but they'd only try to explain themselves to you once you sleep. I had scriptures obtained from an excavation on Pygar during the Zoner expansion there, what some would call 'old paper', I call the trials of Void runners... there's a past of frustration, aspiration, failure and success. Some people leap at the first thing they find that brings them power, but to take take your time and mark the branches you took to someone else's...? This is why we archive any potential possibilities... Ageira, EFL, Kishiro... They all have their ways and they keep them locked behind doors in fear of losing their thrones from eachother. I want to see that concept obliterated, everyone has their right to the stars.
So is it here, maybe to speak my mind on this... Am I alone? No idea, but maybe speaking this out loud in a small corridor within this habitable labyrinth makes me resolute with my fears. Maybe the advantage here is that I can speak without judgement, or it's because I can't hear you. Yes the... Inane operative likes to talk to invisible specters in the dark room with him, pretending they're listening compassionately. They say the worst thing for any agent is the true feeling of being alone. it's silent, it creeps into your heart and strangles you with a familiarity telling you 'it is safe for everyone else'... Little personal matters that weigh heavily to me, but into my minds eye I can not agree that these are in comparison to what I see elsewhere. I fear being called 'paranoid of myself', the man who did nothing, doing as much as I can at the expense of my health on terms fabricated by the agency. At that point the only option is to confide in someone else... But to whom while in my field?
Maybe what I 'want' is worth deteriorating myself over, this vision of flying closer with the Void and for it to be shared with all. A way that doesn't torture the Void, one no longer beholden to the power of a corporation or state, borders be damned In Humanities future of free movement. But to achieve that would be beyond my time, better to sow that seed of thought deeply now for it to later blossom under the starlight of those enriched to propel further...
But I'm stuck between these wars of light dark, these things of politics come and go with our underground movement, there's lots of people who need help but I've been delaying some thing for a good amount of time. A more personal matter had come about as my Valkyrie has recently had its flight crew order stolen... No matter, It's encrypted. And encrypted with my inane ramblings and quiet moments of ship maintenance between flying. I could activate a tracker, finally awake the homing device using a low-wave frequency key. Or I could ignore it and push on with my own needs, but I have the urge to try and get it back... It's still an uncomfortable thought, but I can't trust that I wasn't within the 'pilot seat' the entire time with a resurgence of my inner conflicts thanks to the Vagrants.
I only seem to work on a scale of madness I've seen In Thuringia, it's served me well in the combat fields, but I should remember that there's a madness that is so simple or aimless that it seems unreal to me but completely regular within the another life... Am I just dragging out my own simple feelings and trying to justify their actions in some way? They stole my ship for money, it is as simple as that. But the inconvenience it's cause me, it's highly aggravating. Is this how one has to process themselves after a long day...? So many questions...
I want to thank you for your time... Talking to thin air has it's benefits, maybe I can sit down and envision this with someone else in my life. But now I have a flight recorder to retrieve and a chat with a certain battle cruiser commander apparently... Yes..? Oh look here...
His helmet illuminator from the side of his helmet flickered on, displaying what digital interface that helmet came with behind the visor.
Yes, every second this is layered above what I see... Annoying? Not really, my natural eyes are long gone so it doesn't bother me... So if I enable that isotope tracker, it's almost as if it was background radiation, usually mapped to ensure it doesn't auto trigger from anything else during its travels... If I'm in close proximity or near any Bundschuh station... It should appear...
A few elements on the screen start to run their processes, obviously sensitive information was hidden during that time, but still showing where it may be located is visible.
So I sh- eh?
Berlin was showing on the monitor, at least tallied down to a presence within the system. But the speed of finding it was faster that he would have expected considering how long he's let it linger for.
I suppose it saves me going too far to find it but... Its an uncomfortable trip in a cargo container and at least a week of sleeping on the Ring in secret. The question is which party on that mega-structure has it if its not with the agency. Obviously the agency would be the worst case scenario... A lot of tiptoe-ing. Not my favorite, but most of them are half-arsed contractors, they don't usually mess about with confident sociopaths walking around agency property... Handlers are going to be an issue.
How do I know? Game of shadows, you live long enough within the war-zones of Thuringia, this becomes the norm... Will I be back? I don't know, you haven't halted me yet so I might come around and say hello during my travels.
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