The S/D Agency Files

[Athenian]

Briefing

Good morning, Agents.

The Director is away on business at present so I have been asked to provide this morning's special briefing to clarify several issues that have arisen.

We are, whether you realise it or not, a business. A vibrant, successful and expanding one, to be sure, but we are always in competition with others.

How can we best remain competitive? Well, we must do several things.

1. Under no circumstances should agents consume enough whiskey to render an elephant comatose, shoot up the locker-room and attempt to access a gunship in a bid to "kill them cretards".

A few facts and figures: the GBH1 gunship, though an old model, has proven to be a versatile and efficient defense ship for both stations and convoys. It costs somewhere in the region of twenty million credits for the bare shell of the ship; factor another fifteen for armour plating; maybe four for shielding; additional components and turrets can add another ten million to the bill. Making the ship suitable for a human being to live somewhat comfortably in adds another five million.
That comes to....tum te tum...let me see....carry the four..... fifty five million credits.

Fifty five million credits to equip a GBH1 gunship.

Running costs for fuel and power cells for the turrets can run as high as two million a week, more if a missile launcher has been added.

All told, I'm sure you can appreciate that risking one of these ships to deal with a few corsair pick-pockets doesn't make firm economic sense.

2. We are awaiting a license to operate Sirius-wide from the Sirius Crime Commission. We have placed securities in the sum of 500 million credits with a SCC appointed financial services division. In order to distinguish ourselves from the other reckless and amateur organisations that bid for the law-enforcement contracts within our zones, we must ensure that we offer to people a far superior service. [color=#FFCC33]Failure to remain professional in our dealings with others could cost us this security deposit.

3. The Agency has contracted Miss Esther Carson as a trainer for agents wishing to improve their skills. She was retained for the princely sum of ten million credits. This covers our first week. Details of how the contract operates can be accessed through her direct channel here. Please make sure you utilise this valuable resource we have put in place for your professional development.

4. And finally, and hear let me speak frankly. We are all human beings. Well, I have my doubts about a few of you occasionally, but nevertheless. We have something resembling lives outside this difficult job we do. I would kindly ask agents to try to make their personal calls somewhere other than through the Guild Bounty Network. A rather erotic, crude and possibly illegal conversation between Agent Alpha and his new lady-friend in which they discussed their previous achievements in bed and declared their shared intention to perform a physical act considered both amoral and unhygienic found its way onto the Admiralty's channels last night. As a result, a member of the staff had to be treated for coronary arrhythmia. (//skype chat is ooRP; ingame group and system chat is RP only)

Thank you for your time.


Brian
Administrative Officer, The Doghouse

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Former member of "the most paranoid group of people in the community"
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