Monologues

[Stuffz]

I went to the cryo-chambers again. Sitting there for hours I listened to the quiet buzzing of the machines.
Soothing music to my ears with a faint promise of salvation in it.
And yet, I couldn't muster the courage for it. Too big is the uncertainty, too big is my fear of eternal slumber.

Physical exercise has become my last resort. Just to pass the time. Often I drive myself to complete exhaustion until I fall asleep on the cold steel floor.
Then, after I wake up an undefinable timespan later, with aching muscles and a pounding head, I crawl back to the bridge.
I sit there and gaze into space, wondering about the why and how. It seems so hard to understand.