Bretonian Armed Forces Defense Intelligence Staff (DIS) (iRP) (AO)

[Athenian]

To: BAF Command
Comm. ID: Knight-Admiral Andrew Stuart

---Transmission Initiated---

I know that it doesn't exactly fall within our remit, but recently a certain individual under my direct command has gone above and beyond the call of duty in winning not one, but two duels in defence of the honour of Her Majesty Carina, the First of Her Name.

Admittedly, said individual won said duels by default, neither gentleman challenged having the stones to back up their hideous accusations with steel, most likely due to their dresses, stained with coward-urine, being unfit to fight in. Rather lacking in valour, considering that they had their own choice from a selection of weapons, such as the cutlass, the foil, the pistol or, the age-old favourite - balloons and blunderbusses.

Anyway, I would humbly request suggestions on how best to honour this most deserving man of the hour, for his willingness to challenge these bed-wetting pukes to the death on matters of a most deserving Lady's honour.

He already has a Knighthood, and I think that a medal wouldn't be entirely fitting, due to the lack of military flavour to the actions in question. Perhaps a parade in his honour? I'd most undoubtedly love to have Lord-Commander Sir Roger Brinkley's opinion on this!

Standing strong,

Stuart out!

---Transmission Terminated---

Comm. ID: Lord-Commander Sir Roger Brinkley, CC

---Transmission Initiated---

It was wisely said by someone, name escapes me, that honour (with a u, I might add, for our colonial friends) is its own reward. None of your gene-splicing or bio tomfoolery can instill it in a man, much less a foreigner or a working-class person. It is a medal one wears in one's manner and demeanour. It is a power best demonstrated through the thrashing of persons of alien origin and the edification of our own countrymen as regards their station in life and society. And in the occasional and violent rogering of vermin such as the charmless half-wits who had the gall to insult Her Majesty.

Having said that, presenting oneself as the Queen's Champion takes balls the size of Brimingham. Truly, the office of Queen's Champion is an office we (by which I mean my good self, my immediate family, my cousins and several other people of breeding among the noble classes) have long hoped to resurrect.

In previous times, the Champion was rewarded with a gilt, covered cup, the King or Queen Regnant having first drunk to the Champion from it. I am certain Her Majesty would be well-disposed to reviving this fine ceremony as part of the proposed celebration. I would be proud to wear the old regimental colours and have the Band of the Cambridgeshire Army Cadet Force play a rousing rendition of "Rule Bretonia".

Another point: traditionally the grant of an estate accompanied this much-respected office. If said individual were to be suitably disposed to beating servants and delegating the administration of said demense to a desk-Johnny, I would recommend the long vacant castle and manor of Tamworth and the Manor of Scrivelsby. It is held in trust and provides a fine, though not extravangant, income, mostly from the stables there.

Postscript: Fine work, Commodore McKenna. Jolly good to see those cannibals getting a sound what-for. The chaps in the mess gave you three "Huzzahs" at elevenses this a.m.

Brinkley out.

---Transmission Terminated---

---

Former member of "the most paranoid group of people in the community"
Discovery Community Forum Rules