Raven, Pre-proposal....

[Orin]

Hey, this looks much much better. Nice work!

One thing is goals. I don't see any... aim here. You're exiles, yes. You're out on your own now on Wrath, yes. What are you doing? Are you striving to curry favor with your former bretheren? Are you trying to get back at them with deceit and propaganda? Just something I'd like to see. Aim.

Pandemonium mentioned cannibalism is still a part of it, even though you say nothing of it on the status. The status isn't public knowledge if you say it isn't. If you're still cannibals (which seems odd to me, seeing as you never had that in you as an OC, and you're not starving), add it into your status. Unless Pandemonium is incorrect.

Ranking I'd like to see. It doesn't have to be complicated, but it needs to be there. Ship restrictions too. It may seem managable without at first, but it will cause problems later on. It also makes it look a lot more professional.

Awesome work though. Streamline, provides sufficient info, well put together, and most importantly, it makes sense in RP.

I want to hear from Zephyr on this.