I don't agree with the a missile load out showing a lack of respect, there are counters to missile players, I know because I am one, I'm not just refering to having a CD mounted either. I have 4 missile launchers on my RC, have had them since before most people even bothered with missiles on fighters on Discovery. Next version should see an improvement for vanilla ships which is great, I fly them too. Missiles have limited ammo on fighters, unlike a CAP which just sits back and spams unlimited missiles at people in a very unskillful manner. Using missiles on fighters effectivley is a skill. Just as using the inferno/SN combo on a bomber is also a skill, there are plenty of players that do this to "own" fighters.
With the rest of the OP, I agree there are many people who show a very immature, impolite attitude to others. Sadly within a game you will have childish people playing, people who love to boast and annoy others, it's a shame, but dont let them grind you down.