Bafflin' Boyz to the *WISE* Guyz

[Malaclypse 666]

To: Ambassador Bard
From: Mal

Bravo!! A heroic attempt to hoist me upon my own petard! I am still reeling from the excellent, if flawed, rhetoric. (Thank Goddess I am not a diplomat!)

I'll attempt to respond to your Epistle here, in order not to sully your Diplomatic sensibilities. It's the least I can do, Ambassador.

I believe we are referring to different Timbuktu U's here, sir. The Alumni of the Ancient Mysteree School i referred to (which includes the likes of Tom Robbins, Robert Anton Wilson and other non-prophets who the TAZ revere) would certainly have no truck with two geezers like Abraham and Isaac (..Ephraim..??), who both claimed to be worshippers of the same "One", yet whose adherents shed the blood of countless thousands in attempts to prove that their "One" had more hair on his chest than the others' "One".

That's what being an "adherent" or "servant" gets ya.

Now, you still have me at a disadvantage sir. I compliment you on your knowlege of our Book of Precepts, and other scripture; however you have cleverly managed to tell me how I as a Discordian should interpret them, without once revealing an iota of what precepts your "One" would have me believe. Or for that matter, what "One's" real identity might even be... I cry foul! How can we discuss or debate either religion or diplomacy without both knowing the ground rules? How can i in turn rag on your Deity and "hir" teachings if I don't have a blessed clue who the "ONE" is, or what she/he/it teaches?

But then, you don't claim to be a theologian, and I certainly don't claim to be a diplomat. Stalemate.

I do however appreciate your offer of assistance with my spiritual "angst"and insecurity, sir. But, to be Frank and Ernest, I question my beliefs, my motives, and even my tunnel reality every Blessed day. That's what keeps it fresh and amusing. Therefore, my particular brand of Multiperson Pantheistic Solipsism would only balk at such assistance anyway, however well-meaning it might be.

I will concede that one of your arguments held merit, and I thank you for pointing out the words of Mal II.

In that spirit, I propose that we assume the stance of "Mutual Irrelevance" towards each other until such time as the ONE decides to pop up and introduce ONEself. Fair Dinkum?

Neither the Hodge nor the Podge shall prevail,

Mal

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