The S/D Agency Files

[Tomtomrawr]

Incoming Transmission
Comm ID: Blocked
Location: Planet Cambridge
RE: Mitchell

Message Reads:

Greetings S/D agents.
I was told by a Mr Mitchell to relay the following message to this frequency, it was picked up by our sensors a few minutes ago:

Greetings,

Today i have been hunting Corsairs in Omega 5 and have goten myself into abit of a mess. The jumpholes are guarded by massive amounts of Corsair forces, and i can not break through with my Hammerhead.
I am hiding in one of the corners of the systems. I was earlier engaged multiple times by corsair ships and my ship is heavily damaged, requesting *static* assistance immediately. Most of my systems are fried, my weapons can not be repaired, my shield generator has been damaged and is only working at 20% capacity.
My left engine is gone, and my right engine has been damaged.
I am requesting assistance immediately, my life is at stake *static*. I don't know how *static* before the cor*static* find me, but i really need the *static* assistance.
OH GOD NO! A corsair dread*static*.

I presume that Mr Mitchell has been captured by the corsair forces or killed in action.

I am sorry to give you this news, but i wanted you to know and see the message.

Message Ending
Transmission Ending

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[17:45:39] Wolfs Ghost (Murphy): Tom, you have problems. Go kill yourself.
[19:25:12] Johnny (Jam): Tomtom, I will beat you with a spoon.
[14:22:56] Prarabdh Thakur: KILL HIM WITH A SHEEP.
[17:40:48] Eagle (Junes): Tom should be slapped with a spoon.
[11:32:18] Warspite: Thank you for being so awesome Tom. <3
[18:17:36] Metano: I love you tomtom
[20:06:24] Warspite: I will seriously give you epic head.

Edit: also, Tomtomrawr, fappin' like a boss.