Message to: London Drugs Corporate
Comm ID: Malaclypse 666
Gentlemen,
It has come to my attention that members of your organization have expressed concerns about our distribution of the substance known as "Kallisti Gold".
Having some direct knowledge of this substance, I can assure you that it is in no wise meant for recreational useage, nor was it designed as a substitute for the more commonly available entheogens found in our Sector.
Kallisti Gold is tailored specifically as an aid to spiritual growth and enlightenment. It is also used for sacramental purposes, much as tobacco was used by the ancient indigenes of the Terran "America's". (The fact that it tastes good, makes you smile, and packs one hell of a wallop is merely an unintended side effect.)
There also seems to be concern that our distribution practices and pricing (free gratis) will undercut your bottom line. I cannot totally discount this possibility; but I can assure you that K.G. is distributed by the ELF only to those individuals who seem ready to advance to the next step of primate evolution ("seeing the fnords"); and to those members in good standing of the Church of Eris who require it for their religious practice.
Will you buy that for a dollar?
Regards,
Malaclypse 666,
Episkopos Prime,
ParaTheo-AnaMetaMystikhood of Eris Esoteric
(POEE)