Comm ID: Brakelatabasaasta
Transmit to: Brakelatabasaasta
Oh. My. Fish. I had the most AMAZING day. Also, is it bad when the paste under your toenails smells distinctly like cheddar cheese? Just though I'd ask...
I had gone to this new place, Pennsylvania, and looked at the shiny baubles. I had maybe been there a week, sleeping out in Bert (Martha left me for another pilot... she never did love me as much as Bert). But it turned out that things weren't as shiny there as I thought. So I left.
I went back to new York, of course, and it was good to be home. I announced my return, and the people rejoiced! Well, if one can take "people" to mean "person". And if saying "Oh no... it's that guy!" counts as rejoicing... It does in my book! And also in my Lite-Brite. Anyway, before I could even get down on Manhattan and settle down for a nice nap in my old dumpster, something happened! I heard a voice in my head... talking funny, like it didn't know how. Now, there's nothing strange about that; I get voices in my head all the time. Blinding white voices... but this one was different.
It was different because everyone else heard it, too.
Immediately, the space around Manhattan erupted like a jelly-filled donut. People started yelling about "Squishies" and "Keeping" things... I thought everyone else had gone crazy! I enjoyed that thought. But then some guy explained what was going on. It was aliens! I almost had a happiness-seizure when I heard this! I had to meet them. Had to greet them. Had to... eat them? No, not eat. But enjoy! I joined everyone else in the Canadian Goose Chase to find the aliens first. They kept talking with their mind-words, and I responded every time. I asked for them, I wanted to give them a great big hug, but they seemed to ignore me. "Take me with you!" I would cry out to them, but they just kept chattering to each other about lights and songs...
We might have spent an hour running about looking for the Keepermen. Every now and then, someone would report seeing one from a distance, only to see it disappear again. I was flying from one end of New York to the other over and over again, just to catch a glimpse of these elusive jelly-dudes. At long last, it seemed all hope was lost. The aliens had been reported as leaving the system. I gave one last request for an audience with them, and then began to slink back home, saddened by my failure to meet these new friends.
That's when the most amazing thing happened. I was flying in a whoosh-ring back to Manhattan, when the voices returned. Well, one voice this time, but it was one of them. And it was talking to me. It was talking to only me. I could see the voice in my head. Whereas they were previously a fuzzy, pale blue color, this voice was a sharp, deep green. Like plants!
They had heard me. The aliens had heard me and they had responded. I was so happy that I nearly lost my fingertips. The voice had said something about a task... It was difficult to make out what, exactly. At first I didn't know how to respond, but then I felt it, a presence in my jumbled head! It was reading me, like nail polish always does. It knew what I was thinking, so all I had to do was think! This is much harder for me than it is for most others, I know, but I did it. The Keeperman spoke to me again, clearer this time, and told me that I had to "end" a person named Jeremy.
I was conflicted. On the one hand, I had never ended anyone before, and Bert certainly wasn't made for the job. On the other hand, this was my one chance to please something so much greater that myself! Meanwhile, this Jeremy guy was asking for an escort and safe passage to that scary 'Zone 21' place. And so a plan formed in my sad, confused little brain.
I would offer to escort Jeremy to Zone 21. He would form on me, and then I'd do what I do best: I would fly straight into the minefield, and Jeremy would inevitably follow. A plan so diabolical that even the Space Bear would probably care nothing about it.
Unfortunately, it never happened. As I got to Jeremy, there were already two other people there showing him a laser-light show. He was part of some Order... or odor... and they didn't like him. He went inside a Bush and hid there. I informed my new friends that Jeremy was dealt with; when he came out of his Bush, there would be others to get rid of him. They waited like sharks.
I was given a new task. I was to find out how many "songs" were at "Sixteen and five". After some excruciatingly painful thought, I figured out that the aliens wanted to know how many people were at Zone 21. I flew there as fast as I could, and came upon four other people, who were also a part of this Order/odor. I told my friends that they were there, and the ships that they were in. Come to think of it, they all looked like Graham Crackers to me. Don't know why...
Within a minute, one of the aliens appeared! shooting through the minefield, straight for the Magic Metal Claw Thing! Like a great majestic blue squid. The odor guys started shooting at it, but the Keeperman made it through. Then the other one came, the one that I had been talking to all this time. I did my best to distract the Odor guys, but my best was pretty bad. Regardless, the second beautiful blue squidship made it past the Graham Crackers and into the Claw. From the other side, the Keeperman thanked me, and then left my brain.
My job done, and my pancreas filled with joy, I made my way back home to Manhattan. And there was food floating above the docking ring when I got there! So now I have dinner for the next three days. Good deeds are rewarded. And to think that everyone else wanted to shoot those nice aliens... well, I'm glad that I did the right thing.
![[Image: Zukeenee2.gif]](http://i.imgur.com/cMA8ubJ.png)