When the odds start out even and you start losing ships, it can seem like you're getting mobbed. But in fact, you're getting beaten. There's a difference. If you wade into a fight against a enemy with the odds stacked against you, you will most likely lose. You should expect that. The Bret-Kusari frontier is a war-zone. In an ideal world, senior officers should exercise restraint (i.e. players should know better than to really cheese off another player by allowing less considerate players to gank someone, but even very experienced players do this from time to time). But you can't win every fight you are in. You simply can't. Be gracious enough to admit defeat when you are defeated.
For god's sake, this ridiculous flame war is a replica of the one caused by battles in Tau 31 getting out of hand and not for any RP reasons - it was people getting annoyed about rp insults; thinking fights were unfair; complaining about allies popping up out of nowhere. How the hell do you expect civility to each other in game when you can't deal with each other with civility in real life? If the KNF send militias into Bretonia to carry out attacks on commerce, watch for the reaction. That might have been a more appropriate RP response than having it out here.
I honestly don't know enough about the Hogosha or AFA to comment on zoi's. The AFA did strike into Bretonia before (long time back) and that was fine and dandy. Much more exciting than sitting at Birmingham scanning cargo all day.