Outsider

[Laowai]

Whispers.
Voices and thoughts familiar and yet strange, heard as they had been before but this time distant, echoes and sounds from somewhere down a long dark tunnel, shadows of movement from the corner of the eyes, a flicker - voices and whispers, distinct and yet not.
Up and up her gaze followed, Tangier loomed below and above, her people moved within its stony caves and tunnels, far down in her midst the spirits of those since gone danced in worlds of their own creation. High above, the Hessian station turned on its slow orbit, the night watch keeping vigil over glowing and flashing machines while the rest slept peacefully unaware of those that dwelt below. The great sun of Omega 47 bathed it all in its fiery orange glow as upward still she looked, voices still echoing familiar and then not. A light shone and she turned her gaze toward it, brighter and brighter it shone and she felt it's gleam focus on her as she stared. Growing brighter and more intense it shone till it seemed it would burn her very eyes from their sockets, she turned away now and tried to close her eyes. She began to feel afraid and she did not want to see the light any more and yet she could still see it, as if there was no shade to be had, no respite. She descended now, faster and faster away, back to the caves on Tangier... away away from the light that seemed to burn her very heart.

***who (?) * you *? ***

She screamed and sat up in the bed, looking around her quickly, as if half expecting someone to be in the room with her.
However the cave around her was quiet, dimly lit and she was alone.
Zarita looked around the room seeing nothing and yet hearing everything in the gloom, she turned to the side table and reached for the mug of water that lay there, her arm... sluggish, shifting finally until she lifted the cup to her lips and drank. Her body felt slow, heavy, as if it heard her commands and acted on them only after persuasion.
She splashed a small amount of water on her face, trying to rouse herself from the remnants of her dream, she felt generally groggy, as if she was looking at everything through a mist – and yet her dream seemed ever so clear in her mind.
There was a guard outside the door. She knew, but she wasn't sure how she knew, it felt like standing near something warm in a dark room, she could feel the presence of the guard and yet couldnt see him. She didn't like that they had posted a guard at all, it wasn't like she was dangerous and yet - there had been little she could say or do about it. She knew that the Elders had no idea what to make of her, they had arranged for the colonies medics to examine her tomorrow - and she knew that couldn't happen.

She felt trapped, confused and afraid. She needed to get it together, she needed to figure out what to do.
She tried to get up off the bed, but her legs moved only sluggishly - “Dammit” she muttered. Leaning forward she tried once again and this time was able to put some weight on her feet, she took a chance and pushed off the bed, only to collapse onto the floor with a dull thud.
“Oh this is futile!” she said angrily, all she wanted to to was stand up! In her mind she imagined herself rising off the ground and standing boldly and confidently.
Suddenly, she found herself rising and was standing.
“What the....?!” she exclaimed, she was standing, her body had moved as if it was seemingly the easiest thing in the world. She turned to reach for a coat that hung on a rack by the bed - her arm reacting sluggishly. Her hand suddenly dissolved, shifted shape and began to look like....

“Argrghh!” she screamed and began to shake it madly! Her hand? What had happened to her.....
then, just as suddenly as it had changed, it was a hand again. She stared at it in shock, it had just... changed? It moved? “oh that's... just.... WIERD” she muttered to herself.
There was a knock on the door, “Everything ok in there”? The voice of the guard called out. She looked at the door in mild panic “Ah... yes... everything's ok, I just... tripped....”
At least she was able to talk now, a little better than before, though her mouth still sometimes seemed to react as if delayed, and her thoughts often felt confused and jumbled.
Wait - How had she managed to be able to talk? She wondered for a moment? How does a person.... talk? Had she thought about it? “Talk” she said aloud.
She tried again.... “Keep talking” she said aloud. It then dawned on her, she wasn't thinking about it, she just “talked” - she knew what she wanted to say, almost as if she pictured it in her head, and she found herself saying it.
“I can talk!” She said aloud again, a smile crossing her face, “Talk talk talkity talk, I can talk, I can make wor...” her mouth slumped slightly and she slurred. Dammit! She had thought about it.
She wondered if this was how it worked.... she pictured herself walking across the room and then all of a sudden found herself doing it.
Wow? She thought, I can do it, thats all I have to do?

“Huh?” a voice came from outside the door, “Senora are you all right? What can you do?”

Zarita looked up in shock.... “I... I'm sorry?” she called out.
There was a rattle at the door and the guard walked in, keys in hand. She was standing at the far end of the room and looking at him in confusion. The guard looked at her... a little puzzled. “Senora, is everything all right? Do you need assistance?”
She shook her head... looking and feeling every bit like a child that had been caught with its hand in the cookie jar. “N...No... why do you ask?”
The guard sighed, “You said you could do something, you must have walked right up to the door and said it because I heard it right in my ear... and now you're standing over there..” He began to look irritated “Are you playing some kind of trick?”. Now it was her turn to look confused, “No... no? I mean I didn't know I'd said it that loud... sorry....”
The guard shook his head... “Look, Senora, its late... I have to stand out there, but you should go back to bed.” He looked at her expectantly and she nodded “Yes... You're... right, its late... “ She looked at the bed... “I'll go back to bed now.”
He waited... and she looked at him again... “Can a lady have... some privacy please?”
Shaking his head again the guard left the room and she heard the lock turning as he closed the door.
He had heard her? But she had said nothing... it was as if she was in the chamber and he was touching a crystal or a pylon.... Like she had spoken in his head..... and he head heard it as if he was in the room... only.... How?!
She had done it with Ben... when she first woke up, she had thought what she wanted to say and he had heard it, only she still wasn't sure how she had done that... she was half conscious, disoriented. Here.. she had done it and she hadn't known!?

“oh crap” she said.... “this is just......”


She had to get it together, at least to move. She tried again, pictured herself moving to the other side of the room and sure enough, she found herself doing it. She tried once more, this time picturing herself moving across the room, picking up the mug of water and sitting on the bed and as before, she walked across the room, picked up the mug and sat down. “Yes!” she said excitedly, and in doing so lost control of her hand and the mug slipped, spilling its contents onto the floor. She shook her head... 3 out of four wasn't bad. She experimented further, rising from the bed, picking up the coat, circling the room. Her body still seemed distant, sometimes sluggish and she stumbled a few times however she found that if she just knew what she wanted to do her body seemed to react to it.
Finally, after another hour of this, she began to feel a little more confident.
She decided that she was thirsty and wanted another drink, so, she turned around to stoop down and pick up the mug. It leapt up off the floor and shot across the room towards her. "AAghht! she squeeled and ducked quickly, it flew past her head and crashed into the far wall with a loud clatter.
“Senora please!” the guard from outside called out.

“S... Sorry!” she shouted back.... “I... dropped my mug”.

She stared at it sitting on the floor where it had landed. Ok what the hell was that? She thought to herself... then quickly looked at the door half expecting the guard to tell her to be quiet again.
The thing had... moved! She never laid a hand on it.
A chill crossed her body and she felt afraid... she had no idea what was going on. She only knew that she had to get out of here and fast.

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