Rochester Inn

[Knuth--NF]

Noam beamed, raised his hands in an exaggerated move, carefully got off his chair, and slowly waved the hands back while performing one of his deeper bows.

"You talked long enough, sire, then please do permit me some time for a proper reply."

It suddenly became obvious that Noam adapted a custom of performing an exquisite bow whenever he found himself uttering the word "sire".

"Now, sire, I admit, I do admit I did all that - but sire! - it was no mere tomfoolery! Indeed, had you given me the chance and graced me with your presence but a few whiles longer - sire! - I would have rushed to tell you myself... Your - sire! - your outfit... Oh, do permit me this intrusion, for you must know... Sire, your outfit is kitschy. Emperor, you are naked. My liege, and there is more. Oh, sire, how it pains me to say so - this is not the place for you, these are not the people you are looking for. We are but poor outlaw peasants, sire, and we could not bear to be near your divine grace, for fear it would burn us all. I am sorry, sire, terrible, terrible gossip, but quite persistent. Oh, how my lungs but deny me the air to speak more, sire, the superstitious folk we are, we'd rather be alive and - dare I say this, sire, dare I say this - some would even chance to *gasp* drive you out... by force! Backwater! Utter lunacy!"

With that outburst of words out of the way, Noam looked up for a while, as if remembering something, and then suddenly covered his face and nose with both hands, unfortunately blocking a part of the air flow in the process.

"Ze noze! Sirh, I ahwayz frrget ze noze! I am terziblyh, terziblyh sorzyh! How you must hazv zufhered my ztahned zizage, oh, sirh!"

And so, before Noam straightened back from his bow, he produced an enormous white handkerchief from his sleeve, and set about frantically wiping his nose. On the positive side, at least he could speak properly again. Then again, with each word came two huge sweeps - while his right hand, armed with the handkerchief, hardly ever left the immediate surroundings of his face, the elbow was an entirely different beast - flailing around wildly in all conceivable directions.

"Oh, sire, pardon, pardon, thrice pardon, if I must! Here, let me at least ask properly!"

Having said that, and continuing his wild nose sweeping, Noam knelled down rather solemnly and proceeded to approach the newcomer on his knees.

"Sire! I a-aah-am, aga-aah-again so devastated by my breach of e-aah-etiquette, do find it in your heart to a-aah-ACHOO!"

His whole body twitched in an enormous spasm, he barely managed to use his hands to keep from plunging face-first into the ground, but he did manage. He looked up again, slowly.

"Blasted- pardon, sire! A thousandfold pardon! Worry not, uh, sire! It will come right off! And if it won't, well, it's all for the best, as I said, uh, if you don't mind me speaking, er, sire."

Noam jumped right up and started flailing his handkerchief again, this time trying to clean off the newcomers' obviously expensive suit.