Things were already going smoothly in the bar when suddenly in stepped a guy in a seemingly "fashionable" uniform befitting an officer in a fine trading vessel. He walked and came to the crescent table with the grace of a half-drunken nitwit, and sat down with the agility of a stupor dog...
"HEY BARKEEP!!! A NEED UH DRINKsssss...." the man so arrogantly ordered.
The barkeep comes up on the man and asks in a stricken tone, "And what story have YOU to drown your sorrows in?"
The man seemingly looks at the owner's eyes, but is actually looking right at the back, and replies with a bit of slur, "The name'sss Markussssssss Tennnnisson... I'm the Ca'go managuuuur of the LNT-Vaaaagabund... Been in the survice for quite sume time, and I'm lookin forward to get wasssted..."
With a Liberty Ale on his hand, the barkeep pours a long glass on the man's hand. He then asks, "As I said... what's your story?"
Markus then turns his eyes from the view he maintained, and proceeds to drink his ale with slurping sounds that would rock the very fabric of humanity, all the while between them saying, " 'Ell I wus bein all burrrd in me job, ya seeeee? And I wus goin too ashks one of the twa ladies that were in me crew: that hottie Meeelaroosa, and that stoic ***** named Faye... I DECIDED TO GO FOR THE FIRST, OF COURSE! BUT!!!... I was so stricken down by her utter saying of NO!...
Normally it wouldn't discourage sumwun such as ma charm to continue, but I had the feelin she wus serious... SOOOOO I decided to go over to the ***** Faye.... Now don't GET ME wrong! She was still beautiful, I cud tell ya THAT!!! But she always had that .... coooold... frown on her fasssseeeee... SO I tried ma luck on the DEVIL HERSELF!!! *laughs with evil content*...
And... What a SURPRISE!!! The DEVIL HAD SAID NOOOOOOOOO!!! *sigh* Then I had noh uther choice but to continue bein burd and WOMANLESS!!! IMAGIN THAT MAN!!!"
The barkeep, listening to the story says, "Uh-huh..."
But the drunk's "concentration" was broken when he had just seen something he didn't think would happen: a gorgeous lady comes into the bar and sits on the bartable... He drools slightly at this sudden prospect and stands up to greet her...
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