The Barge

[worldstrider]

I'm hoping to get one more--haha--when I have a billion hours to trade enough for one. Seriously, it WILL drive you crazy if you aren't really into it.

First, if you actually fill it with valuables, you will cry like a baby if someone torches it--which is pretty easy for a single fighter to do.

Plan to cruise away? Hehe--cruise speed is 260...40 less than everyone else. Oh...and go get a cup of coffee. It will be three minutes before it kicks in...unless a bored player or npc cds you. CDs? Yes, the size of the barge offers no protection. Your engine flames out about as easily as a vanilla freighter's does.

Did I mention that little things like scrap debris and tiny rocks can get you stuck? And I don't just mean "stuck", I mean stuck. The "/stuck" command doesn't work for the barge and getting stuck can require an emergency self destruct to escape.

Then there is the lovely docking. The "sweet spots" are pretty randomly variable for various stations but even if you figure them out the slightest touch of an npc or player will screw the dock up--this applies to gate lanes and jump holes and system gates as well. Nothing like spending 30 minutes getting to a gate then having some starflier bump you going, "Gee--that's really big!"...stand by for another 30 minutes. I am thinking of asking for a battleship mortar but with a range of only 250m--just long enough to kill gawkers who touch my hull.

Of course the handsome array of transport turrets will hold everyone at bay. 'Course they don't aim right--the 2km length of the barge means they sometimes read your aim point wrong and shoot opposite of where you point. Another neat thing is if you decide to mine in it, the aft turret shots arrive just in time to destroy the ore your forward turrets just popped out--and vice versa.

Perhaps you should get green with lots of npcs so they will protect you. They really like to fly erratic and close--like those starfleas I mentioned back there--nothing like having "friendly" fighters throw you in spinning circles while a little fighters nibble you. Its like being eaten by ducks while being water boarded. No worries--the bad guys aren't left out--they will fly into you too. Know how annoying flies are at a picnic when they keep trying to swarm your food as it goes towards your mouth? It's about that annoying. I won't even mention bored players who do it intentionally for fun.

Of course there is the 20km wide turn radius at cruise--that helps you avoid things--like not crashing into planets and suns, colliding with debris fields and not being able to line up on gates and lanes--which are pretty much close to impossible to dock.

But its a real steal at 500 million. Go by a fleet of them and you will be insane by the morning! I looks cool cruising by in a straight line but getting it there is a nightmare.

All that said, I love mine (but the spinning makes me insane).

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