Smugglers of all shades: Claim your Prize!

[Quorg]

(//The meat of the message is a few lines down)

A well-dressed young man, although looking somewhat uncomfortable in his newly-acquired formal attire, watched from a safe distance as officers of the Bretonian Armed Forces were handed out handsome colored ribbons to commemorate their achievements both on and off the battlefield.
"Gosh durned it," he muttered to himself, walking away briskly after getting a suspicious glance from a BPA officer.

"If all them folks get awards, why not me? Why not other folks like me, who work our 'hinds off to get people what they want?"

He headed towards a run-down looking Neural Net Cafe, logged in to a terminal, and posted the following:

In order to recognize the strength, fortitude, and spirit of all those who carry goods across Sirius in spite of the efforts of corrupt House governments and their allies, I hereby establish the following decorations, to be worn by any pilot who earns them, in order of precedence. To qualify for these awards, a pilot must:

1) Be in the act of transporting a cargo at least 90% full of any of the following, or any combination thereof: Artifacts, Cardamine, Slaves, Synthetic Marijuana, Counterfeit Software, Nomad Specimens, or Human Organs, or carrying a profitable cargo (>999 credits profit per unit) across an embargo,

2) Be piloting any Startracker, Starflier, Freighter, Transport, Prison Liner, or Slave Liner, in accordance with the pilot's manual (//following ID)

3) Transmit any of the following IFF's: None, Freelancer, Junker, Zoner, any Pirate organization, or any Guard IFF thereof,


Order of Thermopylae: Bestowed on those who destroy two or more lawful or lawful-allied ships in a single engagement who have fired on them for refusing to surrender contraband- 10 million credits,


Chancellor Rheinhardt Award: Bestowed on those who have destroyed two or more Rheinland Federal Police, Rheinland Military, or Rheinland Special Forces ships (or one if the vessel was a gunboat or larger) after being fired upon for refusing to surrender contraband (can be earned in two separate engagements)- 5 million credits,


King Louis Award: Bestowed on those who have destroyed two or more Gallic Royal Police, Gallic Royal Navy, or Gallic Special Forces ships (or one if the vessel was a gunboat or larger) after being fired upon for refusing to surrender contraband (can be earned in two separate engagements)- 5 million credits,


Emperor Kogen Award: Bestowed on those who have destroyed two or more Kusari State Police, Kusari Naval Forces, or Kampetai ships (or one if the vessel was a gunboat or larger) after being fired upon for refusing to surrender contraband (can be earned in two separate engagements)- 5 million credits,


President Powell Award: Bestowed on those who have destroyed two or more Liberty Police Incorporated, Liberty Navy, or Liberty Security Force ships (or one if the vessel was a gunboat or larger) after being fired upon for refusing to surrender contraband (can be earned in two separate engagements)- 5 million credits,


Queen Carina Award: Bestowed on those who have destroyed two or more Bretonia Police Authority, Bretonia Armed Forces, or Bretonia Special Forces ships (or one if the vessel was a gunboat or larger) after being fired upon for refusing to surrender contraband (can be earned in two separate engagements)- 5 million credits,


Order of Adam Smith: Bestowed on those who carry at least 900 units of valuable cargo (1000 or more profit per unit) across a border in violation of an embargo (Junkers cannot earn this for entering or leaving Gallia, can be earned in multiple runs)- 3 million credits,


The Honorary Cross (THC): Bestowed on those who carry at least 900 units of Synthetic Marijuana from one base to another with at least 1000 credits of profit per unit (can be earned in multiple runs)- 2 million credits,


Technology Medal: Bestowed on those who carry at least 900 units of Scientific Equipment (//Counterfeit Software) from one base to another with at least 1000 credits of profit per unit (can be earned in multiple runs)- 2 million credits


Pharmaceutical Medal: Bestowed on those who carry at least 900 units of life-preserving medication (//Cardamine) from Malta past planet New Tokyo, Planet New Berlin, or the Barrier Gate Station to Manhattan, and provide guncam evidence of all three landmarks (can be earned in multiple runs and those who cannot land on Manhattan may simply take a picture as they fly in front of it)- 1 million credits,


Historian Medal: Bestowed on those who carry at least 900 Cultural Items (//Artifacts) from Crete past Planet Gammu or Planet New Berlin to Manhattan, and provide guncam evidence of all three landmarks (can be earned in multiple runs and those who cannot land on Manhattan may simply take a picture as they fly in front of it)- 1 million credits,


Immigration Medal: Bestowed on those who carry at least 900 migrant workers (//Slaves) from Pennsylvania or Texas past Planet New Tokyo or the Barrier Gate Station to Malta and provide guncam evidence of all three landmarks (can be earned in multiple runs)- 1 million credits.

Nominations for this award can be posted on this bulletin. Please include the name of the individual or the name of the ship piloted by the individual you are nominating. You may nominate yourself. All nominations must be supported on all points by guncam footage, (all eligibility requirements as well as award requirements must be demonstrated to be true by guncam footage).

Satisfied, he logged off, and proceeded to order the following awards for himself:
Order of Adam Smith, Technology Medal, Pharmaceutical Medal, Historian Medal, Immigration Medal

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ATTENTION SMUGGLERS
The Midnight Express: A Slaver <strike>who doesn't completely realize what he's doing.</strike> (video)

Quorg, you're officially a moron.

...mongs like Quorg being like a malignant little cancer...

Way to be useless, Quorg.