GNN Emergency Update

[Craines]

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Today, shocking news in concern with the First Bank of Flax has been reported.

For some unknown reason yesterday, 1st Flax fired up all by itself. Hails to it were ignored. It proceeded from Curacao to just above Manhattan, where it remained motionless for over an hour. There are now confirmed reports by multiple witnesses, of huge amounts of credits being transferred to multiple recipients without explanation, and high-level fighter weapons being jettisoned out the airlocks.

It appears that even private account holders' vaults were somehow cleaned out and distributed. Estimates are that up to a Billion credits were basically given away. This represents almost all of 1st Flax and The Church of Eris' holdings in the Central Sector.

A spokesman for the Southern Alliance has confirmed however, that the sum of 50 Million in credit cards was retrieved by Charlie of the Angels, near Newark, with a note attached: "Give this to RedBear! Grrrrrr!"

The Bank, still in total comms blackout, then turned towards the New York system's sun, and went into cruise mode. Two residents of Manhattan later said that they had seen a "black spot" on the sun as the vessel was immolated in the sun's corona.

We have been unable to contact General Manager Sophie Noir of 1st Flax for comment. She was last seen flying towards the Coronado Jump in her private vessel. Representatives of the Church of Eris Esoteric have refused to comment on the incident as well.

We'll have more details as we get them. If anyone has any information in concern with the First Bank of Flax, its CEO Mr. Waverly Esquire, or any of the staff of the First Bank of Flax, please contact...

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Hallo, Sie, das gegen mich sein w?rde. Ich bin Doktor Artifice und ich bin Ihr schlechtester Alptraum. Die Dummk?pfe der Linienschiff-Galaxie w?rden also unversch?mt hinsichtlich des Versuchs, mich f?r festzuhalten sein, und ich veranschlage und versuche zum Remake die Androids. Ha!
Wenn nur sie... aber andererseits wu?ten, niemand. Ausgenommen mein nur lebender Verwandter, der Namen hat, nicht noch gesagt werden darf. Kennzeichnen Sie meine W?rter, keine ist sicher so lang, wie ich ein gew?nschter Mann bin. Passen Sie, Sirius Auf! F?r bald bin ich der Victor, und Sie alle verstehen schlie?lich, warum ich tun mu?, was ich tun mu?.
Herzlichst
Doktor Artifice

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TRANSLATION COMPLETE. SHOWING RESULTS.

Hello, you who would be against me. I am Doctor Artifice, and I am your worst nightmare.
The fools of the Battlestar Galactica would be so insolent as to attempt to arrest me for, and I quote, trying to remake the Cylons. Ha! If only they knew...but then again, no one does. Except my only living relative, who's name must not be said yet. Mark my words, no one is safe as long as I am a wanted man.
Beware, Sirius! For soon, I shall be the victor, and you will all finally understand why I must do what I must do.
Sincerely,
Doctor Artifice

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Please excuse that interruption, but it would appear that the evil Doctor Artifice has hacked into our syst

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