Commander Eugen Weise walked into the office, pistol already drawn. Lined up in front of the desk were four potentials. One, an old Coalition Land Forces Colonel, saluted as he entered. Eugen returned it sharply, then took a seat behind the desk. His medals gleamed, his boots shone like black glass, and the mouth of the pistol he laid on the desk seemed as large as the barrel of a battleship cannon.
"So Comrades. You think you have what it takes to join the Glorious SCRA? You think you have the right to fly alongside the living heroes of our age? You think that you posses the moral fibre and outright courage to one of us?"
As the applicants looked at him, dumbfounded, he stood and smiled. With a small titter, he pointed his weapon at the first man in line.
"Comrade Ymir Molotov. You are hereby accepted into the SCRA Fighter Corps. Go, now, and be fitted for a flightsuit before you begin your training."
As Molotov ran from the room, he turned the weapon to the second man in line.
"Samuel O'Altaris. Despite your rather detailed and improbable story, it has been decided that you are indeed most likely a spy, and we don't like spies. We don't like them at all..."
As O'Altaris opened his mouth to protest, Eugen fired three rounds from the massive weapon, and filled his mouth with lead.
"Hehe! I love that part... Comrade Colonel Grigor Linsky. It is my regret to inform you that your senior age, and extreme injuries, not to mention a possible touch of Stockholme Syndrome from your internment by the Corsairs, has rendered you unfit for further military service. Go, and enjoy what life remains to you."
As the ex-Colonel turned, downcast, and wandered hopelessly from the office, Eugen turned to the final man.
"Now... Dmitri. Tell me, Comrade Brezhnev, are you aware that it is an unpardonable crime to lie on your application to the glorious SCRA?"
As the candidate glared and began to speak, Eugen slapped him across the mouth with the pistol. Several teeth flew to the floor, along with some blood. Dmitri's hands flew to his mouth, only to find Commander Weise's foot slamming into his balls. As he fell to the floor, landing in a puddle of blood from the previous unfortunate, Eugen loomed over him, pistol leveled.
"Comrade Brezhnev. The KGB was dissolved at the order of the Grand Admiral immediately upon taking power from the capitalist traitor, Chancellor Aeon. It's assets were folded into the GRU, and thusly came under the Grand Admiral's direct control. Last year, the Grand Admiral declared that the KGB never existed, never will, and that indeed, the concept of there ever being a Komitet Gosudarstvennoy Bezopasnosti is a traitorous thought. Coming in here, and filling in such heresies on a recruiting form? You must want to die!"
Eugen emptied the remainder of the .65 rounds into the applicants face, then holstered the smoking pistol.
Jack Handey Wrote:I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.
