I like the concept & the idea & it was well written out..
BUT I found a few problems they may need explaining or correcting.
The first 1.
Quote:The majority of the slaves decided to immediately proceed to the nearest escape-pods in hope of being scooped up by a Zoner patrol or a trade-convoy. However, a handful stayed aboard the Luxury Yacht because they, had a more ambitious plan. Aroused by the taste of greed they wanted to take possession of the valuable assets in an attempt to radically change their miserable lives from being extremely poor to extremely wealthy. The remaining slaves aboard Santisima Trinidad formed a group calling themselves "The Family" promising to take care of each other as good family members would do. The problem was that sooner or later the Outcast would be searching for a missing Don and his vessel. They also ran the risk of being intercepted by Corsairs seeing as the Outcast Yacht was custom made and expressed a number of Maltese Cross symbols. Therefore their best chance of survival was to seek refuge with the Red Hessians disguising themselves as the real Outcast people of the vessel.
The slaves might have been forced to act as Outcasts in order to survive but they would never forget the horrible acts conducted by them. A certain hatred towards cardamine was also developed due to it hindering them from claiming vendetta on Don Marcello Cristo.
It shows the slaves rebelling & getting control of an Outcast Yacht. Then seeking shelter with the Hessian's while pretending to be Outcast for a period of time.
My Question, How did they survive?. As slaves of an Outcast Don, they was subjected to doses of Cardamine pumped through the ships atmosphere for who knows how long. Thus becoming addicted to it & suffering the same curse all Outcast suffer.. With out Cardamine.. you die. simple as that. The Hessians never had use for it & undoubtedly would have any on hand & specially for that length of time. So again, in your story line I ask.. how did they survive?
Now concern #2...
Quote:- Friendly
Sirius Coalition Revolutionary Army "SCRA|" Liberty Rogues "LR-"
NovaPG "(NovaPG)" Golden Chrysanthemums "[GC]"
Untagged Blood Dragon, Rogue, or Molly affiliated
Quote:- Neutral
Mandalorians "MM~"
Hellfire Legion "[HF]"
Jupiter Guild "[\JG/]"
Independent Miners Guild "IMG|"
Gas Miners Guild "GMG|"
Black Squadron "Order|"
Temporary Autonomous Zoners "[TAZ]" Lane Hackers "LH~"
Untagged Interspace, Zoner, Junker, Order, Hacker, IMG or GMG affiliated
Above, you have GC listed as friendly. GC are Cardi using women that have ( unless they havent told us lately) a strong bond with the Outcasts.
Not wanting to jeopardize their supplies of Cardamine, I don't see them becoming allied or friendly with a group that is hostile to their provider of a needed substance.
You also list Liberty Rogues in that same group. Again, another strong ally of the OC as is the Lane Hackers who like GC have a Cardi habit they probably don't want to jeopardize.
If your going to show OC as hostile, I think showing their allies anything above neutral would be wrong. Specially the ones who partake of the orange dream.
Out side the 2 above stated concerns, I think the rest looks great.
Hopefully you can justify some concerns & have it all work out.
Good Luck !
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