Hullo, fine sirs and indulges of life's fine...fineries.
Well, luxuries might be more formal, but I like fineries. It sounds more fun. That is what happens when one indulges, right? We have loads of fun? Chemically enhanced and visually stimulating fineries though they may be, I still want in on some!
But who am I? I am Liam Hardings! Bretonian man of mystery! Well, not so Bretonian anymore and less mysterious than the next guy (in this company, at least), but, I like to think I have a tinge of mystery about. After hanging about with you chaps, hopefully more than a few wisks of mystery!
But, to cut to the chase, I left Bretonia from a well-to-do family on New London. You know, real dour types. They like to sit and gossip around in their little circle. I'm sure you know the types. Needless to say, I wasn't this type. Sure, I had some fineries over there, but not THE fineries.
Anyway, I wasn't a nice boy. I wanted to try new stuff. You know, the fineries. So, as a punishment, I went sent off to a boarding school on Planet Los Angeles. More like a boring school! Haha, simple puns are fun, yes? Anyway, there I spent the majority of my childhood, and from there comes the not so Bretonian part of my introduction.
So, I spent my life in Liberty. Even saw that great surfer's extravaganza you blokes crashed. Was a real party, that. Funny not even a hair of yours got caught. Yeah, you can say that the Lane Hackers has been more or less a barnyard name for me. And it seems that it might even be so for my New London family, seeing the trouble that has been stirring in Manchester.
But, what kind of a person am I? Well, I worked for DSE for several years. Often the cruel butt of a joke because of the inherent accent, I have grown tired of this "weapon's development" on Pittsburgh. Maine has taken enough punishment! And, more importantly, my life is not blessed with enough fineries! And so, I took Professor Moriarty's generous offer.
It started very simply. I met a bloke on Manhattan, as instructed. I asked him if I could test drive a luxurious Strarflier, and even pick up the H-Fuel tab! Well, there was a problem with that. Apparently dealer identification codes don't work with buying H-Fuel. Being the genius that this man was, he uploaded some rental identification codes into the ship. Really have to admire that kind of intelligence.
So there I was. In space. Alone. With hundreds of other people. I followed the good professor's instructions and landed myself at Detroit. But, sod it all, there were thousands of Stunpulses present. How was I supposed to choose between so many wonderful weapons? Well, I closed my eyes, and pointed at one for the guy to mount on my ship. Took most of my wages from working with DSE, but, I got a nice Stunpulse.
So, I flew off to Rochester, as suggested by the good professor. I thought I had quite a bit of money left, though, I see now the folly of this thought. But, I flew right into Rochester, dodging the scrap left and right. I got there, though, and when I did, I walked up to the dockworker and said "Oi, my friend! It's me! It's Roger! Don't you remember me?" and, as I've never seen this man in my life, he calmly replied "I ain't never seen no Roger in my life." Well, so ended my first serious lie. I just asked him where the equipment dealer was after that. He pointed somewhere in the corner and I just skipped on over.
The dealer was a bit nicer, I think. I put my arm around him when I found him, and I said, slyly, "This is quite a bit of stuff you got here. Quite a bit. Now, I got a guy stashed up in my hold, and, though it isn't likely to happen, if he managed to somehow get out, what is stopping him from just taking all of this excellence and putting it in my ship? We need to stop theft, my friend, and to do so, I need a couple of things. One, I need a strong shield to keep him in there. Even if he does get out, it'll be like one of them bugs. ZAPP! ZAPP! Haha, great stuff, huh? And, second, I need me a pair of them high-powered Photon thingies you got lying around there. Can't shoot noone without guns, huh?"
Well, he just looked at me. After about half a minute, he muttered "I feel bad for your parents." and installed the stuff. Figures I got it all for free. Pretty convincing story, huh? Maybe I should've been a salesman! Haha, maybe I CAN become a salesman now! Oh, good life.
And so, I had some nice awesominities on my Starflier. I went off to go find a pair of Rogues and see if the tossers could take me into their embrace, and allow me to freeload like I had with the Junkers. I mean, c'mon, if Junkers function in society, and they're as bright as proven above, I should be several notches above the Rogues!
Well, I was right. I told them I was a billionaire and that I had something for them in my coat pocket if they let me onto Buffalo. Lo and behold, I was on Buffalo. Lo and behold, I was getting beaten up on Buffalo. They really didn't like the fact that I wasn't really a billionaire. Well, I figure I'll pay 'em back later.
The beating really took a while, and I think I chipped a tooth, but, every dashing man must have a chipped tooth, 'eh? I'll impress the ladies in no time with this! But, for some reason, I wasn't just ejected out into the airlock. Maybe it was pity. I like pity, come to think of it. As long as the person doesn't have fineries. Then those fineries will become MY fineries! Haha!
But, I looked at the price of the Dagger, and the amount of credits I had left. 2,738 credits left on my account. Lovely. Dagger, 'eh, a little more. And so, I took my Starflier, and told them it was a Starblazer I had failed to replace the fins on. Lookie there, it worked. Lying is wonderful, ain't it?
So there I was. In space. In a Dagger. Alone. With hundreds of people. Having no shield and no weapons, I figured it might be better to take the lanes. Afterall, half the Freelancers this side of Kusari have a Dagger. How conspicuous could I be?
Not conspicuous at all. That's how much. Pretty soon I was at Freeport 4, asking around for a Professor of some sort. Found a lot of archeologists and scavengers, but no real professors. But, I got pointed in the right direction. Over here at the...Here.
Well, that's how I got where I am, and why you blokes mounted all this stuff on my ship:
Looks neat. And there are so many Sunpulses here, too! Ah, Stunpulses. First step on the road to getting fine. And fine is the way to be, isn't it?
...encryption.in.progress...hack terminated...
[8:32:45 PM] Dusty Lens: Oh no, let me get that. Hello? Oh it's my grandma. She says to be roleplay.
[12:49:19 AM] Elgatodiablo: You know its nice that you have all that proof and all, Bacon... but I just don't believe you.
![[Image: Skritt.gif]](http://i271.photobucket.com/albums/jj139/Kadinski/Skritt.gif)