The Words of Centeno Tejeda Jr.

[Armageddon]

Infiltration and Sabotage of a Rich Senors Craft

Today Senors we will be covering one of the most important acts of a Pirate, How to infiltrate and sabotage an Enemy vessel. Si?

Firstly you will need a Bretonian Uniform, low ranked possibly conscript. Plus coaching in the Bretonian no sense dialect. Secondly, you will need either a small civilian or Bretonian vessel, one which is capable of fitting onto the side docking port of your vessel. This would preferably be extremely damaged. Senor, you can pick one of these up at any good corsair establishment.

Now what you want to do is stalk your prey in your corsair vessel, learn its route this is very important, si? Once you know its route find the most logical place for attack near a nebula is always a good choice. Park your ship and launch the old piece of Bretonian fish food you bought for 10 credits. Fly it to several hours away from where the Bretonian Rich Senors ship will intercept your craft.

Si, Si, Si... Now for the most important part of the operation, you must broadcast a distress call in no sense Bretonian. Then wait for the rich fool to appear. To be a Good Sport, he or she will likely take you onboard their vessel, Si senor. You will have to act like this is a Very Good Show. While they are distracted watching space polo on their entertainment system you shall slip away to the engine deck. Si?

You will then look for something called the cargo bay release si? You will attatch a detonator to the emergency release which will cause the cargo bay to open. Set this detonator for the time the vessel will intercept yours. Next set a detonator on the tractor beam control for the same time. This will leave their cargo stranded in space, this will definitely be A very bad show. For them, Haha.

Now just to add to the dishonour of turning up in an empty cargo ship, find the Lavatory Controls this will look like a lot of plumbing. You will set a detonator on this as well as on the Lavatory Waste Tank.

You will then return to them and act like nothing has happened, Si Senors? You may be lucky and they may offer you some Bretonian beverages. Wait for the alarms to sound warning them of the detonations then slip away to the airlock. Fly your fish back to your ship, if you have done this correctly there should be the cargo of the vessel in open space. While tractoring this in you can enjoy listening to the Rich Senors wine as the... goods contained in the Lavatory Waste Tank fill the bottom decks of the ship.