A Political Announcement!

[Ironwatsas]

::ALL THE NEWS THAT'S FIT FOR YOU!::COLONY NEWS SERVICE BULLETIN::

[color=#FFFFFF]In a shocking and arousing turn of events, a new candidate has emerged for the previously non-existent seat of Liberty Congressional Secretary of Education Reform. A largely unknown figure in the Libertonian political (or real) world, Junkercratic Party candidate, Cobalt Watsas.

An official announcement from the Watsas campaign was released just this afternoon, at a press conference at the Sunbucks Cafe on Fort Bush.

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"Ladies an' Gentlemen an' Libertards. Friends an' Countrymen. Whatever the hell the Zeeners are supposed t' be...

Ah', Cobalt Watsas, am officially announcin' mah candidacy fer the Libertonian Congressional board o' education reform! If elected, ah promise t' bring 'bout a new era fer this country. Help bring peace an' order through enlightenment o' the uneducated masses.

We've been too paranoid' bout Nomad this an' Rheinland that, that we've been neglectin' all our domestic problems. Namely, the massive abundance o' people who are gettin' pilot's licenses who couldn't find their dang heineys with two hands. At fault are mostly the Zeeners an' Kusari, but it's also the failin' Libertonian Educational System.

If ah am elected, ah promise to remedy this problem! Ah will petition the diversion of fundin' from defense spendin' to Educational reform. Ah will enforce much more strict policies regardin' purchase o' ship liscencin', an require a written exam, includin' one's name an age, 'fore purchasin' any kind o' capital ship. An' to benefit the economy, and further reduce the proliferation' o this, ah will raise the obligatory bribe for non-navy folks' buyin' a capship from 250 million credits to 750 million.

As well, if ah am elected, I will create a Truancy-SWAT team to hunt down uneducated masses, or those infected with 'Lawl's Syndrome', t' keep them from endangerin' our space lanes an' population. Also, ah have put forth plans for a state o' the art Rehabilitation facility in Connecticut, inside a minefield, to hold and <strike>rehabilitate</strike> heal those infected with this terrible condition.

Ah am committed to fixin' this country's mental health problems. Ah have seen too many dang people screamin' an' mispronouncin "Engaging" 'fore shootin' up the place, Ah have seen too many smugglers who arbitrarily pack there ships to the gills with Cardamine or Slaves, an don't know how to disguise them or hide them with other cargoes. An' ah have seen too many people tryin' the classic 'curl up into a ball and close your eyes when pirated' trick. So ah have deep personal reasons fer' doin' this...

...but ah can't do it alone.

Cuz I don't got any dang money.

So, ah am officially beginnin' creation o' my campaign committee, and acceptin' Campaign contributions. If y'all wanna fix education, we gotta start somewhere. So, join me, fellow Libertonians! Join me an' we can fight the Lawl Disease an' criminally negligent educational systems! We can create a better tomarrow!

So when the polls open, vote fer' me, Cobalt Watsas. A dedicated Libertonian fightin' fer tomarrow!"

Campaign Contributions may be made to .:j:.Cobalt.Watsas via the /Givecash service
Job openings for campaign committee spots may be posted in this channel

"Ah'm Cobalt Watsas, and Ah approve this message."

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All that begins must end.