System Overload | Feedback Thread

[Soar]

This is for those who had the patience to read through the tedious story I'm trying to write. I'm not by any means a very talented writer, so any input is very much appreciated. I'd love to try and improve, and feedback is the best way to do so, in my opinion. Even if you just want to say how much you hate the bio, I'd love to hear your comments.

The biography can be found here. (Yes, it's incomplete. Work in progress and whatnot.)