Liberty Educational Debate

[Ironwatsas]

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This is the Colony News Service

Hello, and welcome to the 1183rd annual Liberty Senatorial debate.

The topic today is one which touches deep onto the moral fabric of our nation. Education. With the 'Lawl Epidemic' growing, and the rise in traffic as a result of the Silver and Platinum mining and trade agreements with Kusari, space traffic is at an all time high.

An unfortunate side affect of this is the sheer idiocy of the majority of the pilots out there. Now, two political idealists take the floor tonight, to discuss their differing views of this unfolding crisis.

Tonight's Contestants are mister Cobalt Watsas ([J], Rochester) and Senator Harry Chaimberlain ([R], Denver). Both with two very diffrent views on the subject. We now go live to Harriet Weed on the debate floor, Harriet?

Harriet: Thank you, Donna. Now, We would like to greet misters Watsas and Chaimberlain for coming out today. Let's give them a big round of applause!

Crowd: (Applause)

Watsas: Well Howdy, Ma'am

Chaimberlain: Yes, good evening

Harriet: Now, getting started. The main issue most people have been worried about is the spread of the 'Lawl Virus', and how to contain it. Mister Watsas, your purposal?

Watsas: Yep, Ah know 'bout it. Nasty crap. Well... mah inital idear was, since we can't vaccinate fer' this, t' send out a Truancy swat team t' hunt down Lawl infectees an' beat the Virus out o 'them. An' most o' the people ah've talked to seem t' agree.

Harriet: Chamberlain, your response?

Chamberlain: With all due respect, that's a preposterous idea. We can't send armed mobs out to Lynch people infected with a Virus. It's absurd, immoral, not to mention VERY Illegal.

Harriet: Mister Watsas

Watsas: Well... yea, that was mah INITAL idear, since then, ah've changed it t' sommat more like a Lawl Rehab center in Connecticut, where we'd round 'em up, put 'em safe inside a minefield, an' re-educate 'em.

Chamberlain: Better. I admire the concept, but the issue there is, first off, the Logistics of gathering up each and every infectee, many of which have citizenship outside Liberty, and getting them to Connecticut.

Besides that, who will administer such a facility, and where will the funding come from? Not only for the facility itself, but people will have to go out and collect the few Infectees which we can legally quarentine.

Watsas: Weather we vaccinate 'em or lock 'em up, we have t' pay people t' do it. Take it out o' defense spending, or all that money from all the Ore we're sellin' outta Penn. An' have the LPI or the Health Department run the thing.

Chamberlain: We can't touch Ore funds, and cutting defense spending in the middle of a war would be unthinkable.

Watsas: Well, havin' these Lolwuts flyin' 'bout Liberty an' makin' up half the dang army ain't doin' anythin' good fer' our defense infrastructure. An' we got more then 'nuff money that takin' a few bil' off the top ain' gunna hurt anythin'...


Harriet: Okay, next question!

Watsas: 'Kay

Harriet: Studies show that Cardamine abuse among the youth, ages 13 to 21 is skyrocketing, how do you plan to tie Drug Awareness into your educational purposals. Chamberlain, you first.

Chamberlain: Well, Drug awareness starts with the family. Spending desperately needed money in the schools isn't going to solve the root of the problem. Many children and teens simply ignore or are unaware of the dangers of drugs such as Cardamine.

Watsas: Naw, famlies ain't 'nuff t' stop kids. It's reverse psychology with family. Most kids to the 'zact opposite o' what they're told, 'cuz they dunno any better.

What ya'll need t'do is spend some o' that money to make specific classes, t' illustrate in graphic detail what Cardamine dose t' yer brain, body, an' specially genitalia.

Chamberlain: We're talking about elementary school children here, I don't think we can morally expose them to anything that... explicit, without risking parental backlash.

Watsas: Dangit, Kids need t' know this at an Early age. Early as possible, an' they need t' continue t' be told over an over so they know. That's part o' the dang problem. Nobody tells their kids this, or their kids ignore it. So they dunno better when some'n tries t' slip 'em a roofie an' do smooshie things to 'em.

Chamberlain: Hmm... may I ask you a Question directly, Mister Watsas?

Watsas: 'Sure

Chamberlain: You aren't a politician, are you?

Watsas: Naw. Just a livin', breathin', Liberty citizen'

Chamberlain: Yes, now not to be rude, but... are you not a member of an organization which has been known to distribute Cardamine and other Drugs? Directly from the Outcasts, to Children?

Watsas: Naw...

...what's yer angle?

Chamberlain: I'm not accusing you of doing anything yourself, but I'm asking are you the right person to be talking about this? And making decisions which affect our whole education system.

Watsas: Dang right ah am. I dun touch any hard stuff. That crap'll turn yer' brains t' popcorn.

And ya'll are outta line bringin' mah personal affairs int'a this t' make me look bad. I ain't a politician, ah'm a Libertonian. So ah' have a hell o' a lot more public credibility then ya'll.


Chamberlain: I'm not trying to bring up your personal life. I'm merely trying to stress the fact that some people, namely more conservative elements, may look upon your association with the Junker Congress while supporting this bill as Hipocracy....

Watsas: Well now yer' just tryin' t' make me look bad, dagnabbit...

Harriet: Calm down, please. Let's take questions from the Audiance now.

Watsas: Fine.

Audience Member: Mister Watsas, is it true you once owned stock in, and helped operate a Brothel? In Rheinland? If so... why?

Audiance: Murmers

Watsas: Well dang right. Why wouldn't I?

Wait, what tha f...!?

And that's all we have time for tonight. Tune in tomarrow for analysis of the post-debate Galyph poll.

We now interrupt this broadcast to bring you a classicial music video by pre-sirius rock legend, Journey!

"Just a small town girl.... livin in a lonleey wo...oo...orld!

She took the midnight train goin' a...ny...wheeeere!"

...

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All that begins must end.