Liberty Police, Inc. Applications Office

[chovynz]

The Chief then seems to change tact. He calls his secretary.

"Get that McMannus idiot back in here."

The "giant donut" is brought in and stands before the Chief.

"After reviewing your application, I've decided to try out a new feature to the LPI recruitment policy. Sadly, your application is denied. Have fun with the crocodiles."

The Chief slams a button on his desk, and the floor opens up underneath McManus, who falls into the crocodile pit. Myers bursts out laughing as the floor returns to normal.


/// Try applying in a serious fashion. I'm sure that would be accepted.

30 minutes later, McManus stepped through the door to the chiefs office again, the onduty security/police guards still reeling away from the overpowering musty smell emanating from off the big tub'o'lard . He was dripping wet. And shaky. He set his jaw, he pointed a heavily jowled wobbly finger at "The Chief" and said quietly, "SAHTHAT WASNOT NICE! FIRST YOUBRING MEBACKTHEN YOUDUMPME INTO A CROCPIT. AREYOUSURE YOURNOTAMALICIOUSLOON IN DISGUISE? YOUR TRAPDOOR VIOLATEDABOUT THREESAFETY REGULATIONS!! I SAWRUSTON THE HINGES ONTHEWAY DOWN."

Chief Myers continued to stare at McManus in amazement during McManus's spiel. "You really don't get it do you, son? We don't want you on the police force! You were Denied! NOW GET OUT OF MY OFFICE!" Myers yelled.

McManus thrust his jaw at the Chief, and crossed his arms and mildly said "MALICIOUSLOUT. OFFSPACELANES. YOURDESK IS SAGGY. SAFETY VIOLATION #16623. THOSE CROCODILES WERE UNDERFED. HEALTH CODE VIOLATION #24535." He ticked off points one by one on his fat dripping paws. "RUSTYTRAPDOOR SPRINGS. SAFETYANDMAINTENANCE VIOLATION # 67784. TOOMUCH DESKWORK WITHINTHE SPACEOF ONE HOUR. HEALTH VIOL..."

The chief yelled for other policemen "to get him out of here and lock him up". That didn't work. McManus just stood there, blocking the doorway. The chief called for a crane, but they couldn't get the chains around McManus. The chief tried to kick McManus' instep, but couldn't find it in amongst all the flesh. "Out out!" Myers cried and whimpered. "I neeeeeed my coffeeeeeee." McManus didn't budge, but didn't say a word either. Chief Myers tried various other methods of removing McManus, (some of which is not appropriate to divulge here. We must uphold the respect that everyone has for Chief of Police Matt Myers.)

Finally exhausted, Myers slumps in his chair and put a meaty hand over his eyes, and said, "What will it take to make you to go away, and never come into my office again?"

McManus came out from the doorway, and trundled over to the desk. He whispered articulately, "I WANT TO STOP MALICIOUS LOONS FROM BREAKING THE HEALTH AND SAFETY REGS SAH! THAT'S ALL I WANT. EVERY SHIP MUST HAVE SUITABLE LIGHTS. NO MORE KITTY KATS GETTING RUN OVER."

Myers looked up at McManus. "And you'll never come in here again?" "NOSAH. I'LL SEND YOU MY TYPED REPORTS." "Done,",Myers agreed vehemently. "Cadet McManus, welcome to the Police Force. Now please, get out of my office." McManus trundled out, and just as he got to the other room, (by this time the other officers were pressed back against the walls of the police station, to avoid the stench of excited crocodiles and the largeness that was floating past,) Myers remembered something. "McManus! Howd you get away from the Crocs?" McManus grinned and said amibly, "EASYCHIEF. I DISTRACTED THEMWITH ABOX OF...," he stopped in midsentence, then carried on in a hushed religious tone, "...DONUTS.THEYWERE MIGHTYGLAD!"

As we see the camera zoom back and we see McManus walking away from the Police Station with a happy grin smeared on his face, we hear the familiar comforting sound of Chief of Police Matt Myers, yelling at some flatfoot to bring him his coffee, black and strong, make it a double, on the double.

//This is a Zapp Approved post. See? it's got his stamp on it!

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Seek fun and you shall find it. Seek stuff to Q_Q about and you'll find that, too. I choose to have fun.