The Queen's Demise, Feedback thread

[SimonBlack]

I'm with Zeltak here. The story is well written, but... kids watch too many rambo and diehardt. Every evil character is portrayed the same. Maniac, kills up close, enjoys killing, twisted, can take on 15 dudes at once. Also..what's up with blades? Let's be honest they are much more cool than guns, but not effective otherwise every marine would carry a katana. Nah, the blade is okay, but don't overdo it.

Playing an evil character doesn't mean you have to pick the most evil solution in every situation, solve every puzzle by going on a kill streak. Especially if your combatant is the underdog.

You need more depth to the character. What drives her? Why does she do what she does? Does your character have doubts about taking people's lives away? Will that eventually mess with her head? That kind of thing.

Hope you don't mind some criticism.

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Character background summaries:
Red Hessians Major Matthias Schwarz
Golden Chrysanthemums Chusa Fumiko Shimazu