A Curiously Encrypted Commercial to the GMG

[Shazbot11]

[INBOUND SIGNAL RELAY]

[UPLOADING DECRYPTION CIPHER]

[BEGINNING TRANSMISSION FEED]

(.....static.....)

The screen is suddenly washed out in vivid colors, forming a picture of a young boy sitting at a dinner table with a wide grin on his face. From somewhere beyond the screen, a cheery voice speaks.

"What's the story, Jimmy? It's only fair to share!"

The boy turns to reveal a glittering tube of Synth Paste.

"Why, Synth Paste have you! Did you know that every tube of Synth Paste is fortified with the all the necessary, daily nutrients doctors recommend. Vitamin A! Iron! Borax!"

Images of a chemical structure, an iron, and a rock appear above the boy's head while he nods eagerly.

"Like I said, Jimmy! It's only fair to share!"

The boy winks, and a dog walks onto the screen with a tube of Synth Paste in its mouth.

"'Atta'boy, Sparky!"

Everyone, including the dog, laughs as the screen fades to black.

(......static......)

[TRANSMISSION RE-UPLOAD]

ID: William Cooper

Hello? Hello! Are we transmitting yet! The man leans to the left, going off-screen for a few seconds before returning and regaining composure. He clears his throat.

Konnichiwa and salutations, esteemed Guild Master of the Gas Miner Guild. My name is William Cooper, Vice President of Synth Foods, Inc. I implore you to pay no mind to the previous advertisement; transmitting to this region of the Sirius sector, the contents of this message may fall upon...unwanted ears.

He leans back into his seat, folding his hands on the desk top.

As I am certain you're already aware, Synth Foods leads the fore-front of food production, processing, and distribution. While this is all well and good, our products can serve no use if they don't get to the consumer. Kusari, ahhhh Kusari. So much potential. We had it big with the new generation of customers. Young. Eager to gorge themselves on foreign culture. Synth Foods heard their desires, and we offered to feed the nation. That is, until, a certain factor got in the way...

Cooper brings a coffee mug up to his lips. Plastered on the front, in plain view, is the word 'Samura'. After taking a quick sip from the mug, he sets it back down on the desk top.

Ahhh, that's some good joe. Now then, back to the dialogue at hand: further interests within Kusari have hit a roadblock, but that doesn't mean we can't maintain a presence. And this, esteemed Guild Master, brings me to my current proposal: Synth Foods is willing to establish a shipment route into the Sigma systems. The Borderworlds represent an untapped source of potential customers, and the company is more than willing to invest in it. Though I am certain that the Guild can secure adequate resources, I offer Synth Foods as another option. We can guarantee steady deliveries of foodstuffs and other sundries at competitive prices...amongst other things. We are willing to....hear feedback on the needs of our customers, and I direct you to the Synth Foods survey card that you may fill out at your leisure. And, as mentioned earlier, Synth Foods is always looking for a good investment. The economy is vast, afterall, and the right money in the right account can make all the difference.

This is the corporation's initial offer, esteemed Guild Master. I eagerly await your response and, if all is pleasing to you, further details can be ironed out. Thank you for your time and consideration.

William Cooper, signing off.

[TRANSMISSION TERMINATED]

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Maybe some day, they'll see a hero is just a man who knows he's free.