Welcome to the Jungle

[Kazinsal]

Salas.

Rodney Salas.

That's who I am. That's my name.

I'm old. Not too old, though. I'm older than some of those kids out there, flying their ships so proudly like a twelve-year-old who's the first of their friends to get a new video game. It's almost kind of sickening, really.

I'm the captain of a Liberty Siege Cruiser in the secondary fleet, leader of the little-known Task Force Iota, and all around nice guy. If you ask the right people.

You see, I like to have fun. I attended West Point Military Academy when I was in training to become a Navy pilot. I did the usual school things: studying, doing assignments (most of the time), writing essays, beating the flight simulators, doing wargames in the battleroom, and so forth. I was known best for one thing there, and it wasn't any of the previous choices.

I was the class prankster.

Ye frakkin' gods, I was the class prankster.

Killing the gravity in the battleroom was one of my favourite stunts. It was always satisfying to see a new kid wretch and gag while floating around, bouncing off of walls, no matter how many times it happened. I also loved frakking with the cafeteria menus. Change "Beanie Weenies" to "Tomato Sauce and Cigar Butts", cafeteria goes insane. And I smile happily as I munch on a sandwich while kids stare in horror at the lunch menu from hell.

If you're reading this, it's likely because you've been hacking through the West Point student message boards' code and found the data for this linked into it. Congratulations. The computer techs haven't found this little gem yet in almost fifteen years. Pity. They're missing out on some great writing.

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Retired, permanently.