Comm ID: Brakelatabasaasta
Transmit to: Brakelatabasaasta
I began today as I do any other day; Harassing anyone within earshot. But since the spacey-place is a vacuum, no one can hear me anyway. Except for the comm-thingy. I guess that works. Yeah. So, harassing anyone within... talky-box shot.
The first thing that caught my eye was, of course, the Arrowman. He was a Library Bigship, and he looked nothing like an arrow. I told him that, but he was grumpy.
Brakelatabasaasta: Arrow. Justice. Justice Arrow. Brakelatabasaasta: You don't LOOK like an arrow... LNS-Arrow.Of.Justice: Fletcher: Civilian vehicle, move a bit away from military vessel.
He just kept saying things like, "Stay away from my ship" and "Back off, civilian" and "My face is too small for my head". Man. So annoying. So I left him, and guess who I found not far from the Bigship?
Brakelatabasaasta: Oh my fish! It's my best mate! Brakelatabasaasta: Hi, Best Mate! I haven't seen you since grade-school! your-best-mate: hi
Yup. It was my Best Mate. Man, it had been so long since I'd seen him! But even after so many years, it was still easy to tell why he was my friend. He had good taste in flying-thing-equipment. He was in the pilot seat of a Bert Jr., and he had the same kind of shooty-lights as me! Ah, Best Mate... we've got so much in common. We go all the way back to... Wait. Come to think of it, I've never met him before in my life. Odd.
Soon after that, I saw a guy with a funny hard-to-say name. He called himself a space hamster, and I got so excited! I asked him if he knew any good space hamster tricks, like stuffing his cheeks full of sand, but he disappeared. Yup. Space hamsters are tricky like that.
And there was some other guy, too. I talked at him.
Eventually, I ran out of people to bother, so I went to look for more. And I found one! Sitting above us all in secrecy, but not so secret for Brakelatabasaasta! Nuh-uh!
Brakelatabasaasta: Ah ha! SCRA|Angie.Broch: What is this...? Brakelatabasaasta: ATTENTION EVERYONE. Brakelatabasaasta has decided who he will be stalking today. Thank you for your applications. Brakelatabasaasta: To all who applied, better luck next time! Brakelatabasaasta: But Angie wins the Brakelatabasaasta today! SCRA|Angie.Broch: Ugh....you're kidding... Brakelatabasaasta: No. Why?
OH FISH. We had so much fun together! She was saying all sorts of important things like... um... things that I don't remember, and we talked about our feelings, and we painted our nails, and watched scary movies, and got our taxes done! But pretty soon that Arrowman from earlier came and got all grumpy again. I don't think he liked Angie. But before he could get close, Angie was all like, "Comrade B!" ('Cause that's what she called me. Comrade B.) "Distract this navy vessel!" And I was all like, "That's what Brakelatabasaastas do best!" And I went and buzzed around the grumpy Arrowman like a buzzy buzzy bumble humber. I gave Angie enough time to get away, and then she was like, "Comrade B! Return to me!" and I was like, "'Kay!"
But then the Arrowman was all like, "I'mma shoot Brakelatabasaasta!" And Angie made a big deal about it, talking about how you shouldn't shoot civilians and what-not, and all these other people showed up, and it got really crowded! But while Brakelatabasaasta distracted everyone with his dashing good looks, Angie was able to get away from the grumpy people. Soon after, I followed. She talked about what a good little boy I had been!
SCRA|Angie.Broch: People are ignorant. SCRA|Angie.Broch: It amazes me. SCRA|Angie.Broch: Why can't all civilians be innocent and susceptible like you? Brakelatabasaasta: What are they talking about, anyway? It's all like, Jabber-jabber-jab--- wait, what? Innocent and susceptible? Brakelatabasaasta: Wait. Brakelatabasaasta: No, yeah. Brakelatabasaasta: That's me all right. SCRA|Angie.Broch: We need more like you. Brakelatabasaasta: Yeah! More like Brakelatabasaasta! Brakelatabasaasta: It means more future. Brakelatabasaasta: And less... fires. Brakelatabasaasta: Fires are bad. SCRA|Angie.Broch: Indeed...
But she got fed up with the grumpy people who didn't care about her talky-talk and had to leave. She bid me farewell, and I probably did something like that, too. But I can't remember... Oh well.
Only about a minute after she left, I met up with a Rexman! He was sittin' on top of the Giant Oven in the Middle of the System. We had a long, philosophical conversation about pigeons and cabbages, and their appropriate physical characteristics. In passing, I mentioned this little log of I keep of my daily events...
Brakelatabasaasta: But man, woah. Brakelatabasaasta: I can't wait to tell Brakelatabasaasta all about my day today. Rex.Mullins: I thought you were Brakelathingy! Brakelatabasaasta: I am! I am a Brakelatabasaasta. Rex.Mullins: there's lots of Brakelthingies? Brakelatabasaasta: What? No. I'm the only Brakelatabasaasta. Brakelatabasaasta: Why do you ask? Rex.Mullins: then why are you telling yourself about what happened? Rex.Mullins: don't you already know? Rex.Mullins: I think you're being a nasty liar Brakelatabasaasta: Because I have to keep Brakelatabasaasta up to date on all of his daily activities. Brakelatabasaasta: I'll never remember them otherwise. Rex.Mullins: you're making my head hurt... Brakelatabasaasta: And if he doesn't remember, how am I supposed to get things done here? Brakelatabasaasta: And if I don't remember, he can't get things done, either! Rex.Mullins: what things? Brakelatabasaasta: Oh. Brakelatabasaasta: Um... Brakelatabasaasta: Things. Brakelatabasaasta: Like making sandwiches. Rex.Mullins: ooh! I like Sandwiches
He was pretty cool. He flew a ship that looked just like Ekky-ekky's. But he wasn't Ekky-ekky. But still, pretty cool.
I told him I had to go, because I did, and so he gave me a torpedo in the face as a going-away gift. It tickled. Then I flew off to Manhattan, where I gave one last shout to everyone before returning to the planet's surface.
Brakelatabasaasta: I return to you now! For one last warning! Brakelatabasaasta: But I forgot it. Brakelatabasaasta: Bye! Death: Brakelatabasaasta suffered a self inflicted catastrophic decompression.
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