Liberty Police, Inc. Reporting Office

[john kimble]

Location: Newark Station, Manhatten orbit
Detective John Kimble arrives on-scene to investigate the strangely-named Brakebasasalasta, but instead finds a psychotic idiot shooting at people ineffectually. The patrol gets more interesting as the day goes on, including an encounter with his supposed long-lost son, a battle alongside the LN and a drug-bust in Texas.

LPI-John.Kimble[O]: Howdy stranger!
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: I want to ask you a bunch of questions, and I want to have them answered immediately
Aki.Shikyo: Kobanwa Officer.
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: First, I would like to just get to know you.
Brakelatabasaasta: It speaks in tongues?!
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: Who are you!?

*Bank_of_Sterlin begins shooting at various people*

LPI-John.Kimble[O]: STOP IT!
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: I'm a cop you idiot!
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: I'm detective John Kimble!
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: You lack discipline!
Brakelatabasaasta: Bad bank! Bad!
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: This is an arrest.
RedDwarf: not these same lines
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: STOP IT!
Death: Bank_of_Sterlin was killed by a hostile vessel.
Bank_of_Sterlin: Hehe
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: What the hell did you do!?
Aki.Shikyo: Me? Nothing. He was agressor.
Brakelatabasaasta: That was totally the station that blew him up. Totally.
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: I have been working on this case for the last three years, and you guys come barging in here like a bunch of
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: tourists at a tea party!
Brakelatabasaasta: Tea!
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: Wait until the commissioner hears about THIS!
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: he is going to hit the ROOF!
[ExiledHunter]Rorschach: tch
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: Now get your act together, and arrest someone!
Aki.Shikyo: Take him some donuts? One heard they are popular here in this system.

*Bank_of_Sterlin returns from the grave to harass them again*

Brakelatabasaasta: Bad bank! Bad! Stop it!
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: Howdy stranger!
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: Are you out of your mind!?
Aki.Shikyo: Bank, last time. Go away.
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: this man is under arrest
Bank_of_Sterlin: Stop shooting me
[LN]-Robert.Bueller: Party over here.
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: I'm pressing charges against you
Death: Bank_of_Sterlin was put out of action by RedDwarf (Gun).
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: Impersonating an officer, fraud, reckless driving, and lying to the sheriff
Aki.Shikyo: About time.
Brakelatabasaasta: The end.
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: She'll be back

*Bank_of_Sterlin comes back for a third time*

LPI-John.Kimble[O]: it has to end here
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: I want to ask you a bunch of questions, and I want to have them answered immediately
Aki.Shikyo: Asking who, officer?
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: First, I would like to just get to know you.
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: Who are you!?
Bank_of_Sterlin: Your son..
-Stuka-: What? Who? Where?
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: You expect me to believe you?
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: you know you're lying
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: you used to be somebody I could trust
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: One of us is in deep trouble.
Bank_of_Sterlin: You never have known me! Dad!
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: This man is totally insane.
Big_Jim: Let me speak to your mother
Aki.Shikyo: *sigh*

*Bank_of_Sterlin buzzes and shoots Kimble*

LPI-John.Kimble[O]: STOP IT!
Bank_of_Sterlin:
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: I'm a cop you idiot!
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: I'm detective John Kimble!
[LN]-Robert.Bueller: And you like donuts.
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: with that rock-em sock-em jet pack!
Bank_of_Sterlin: Your not a cop, your my dad...
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: don't start this.
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: You should not drink and bake
Aki.Shikyo: Is always insane like this Jack-san?
Bank_of_Sterlin: Why did you never pay mom any child support?
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: What's your real name?
Bank_of_Sterlin: John Kimple, I was named after you, daddy
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: *whispers* Who the frack are you?
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: come on, don't bullcrap me
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: Who is your daddy, and what does he do?
-Stuka-: Problems in the past?
Bank_of_Sterlin: He is John.Kimble, and he is a cop
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: YOU LIE!!!
Bank_of_Sterlin: No
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: Tell me the truth; you owe me that much
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: go on
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: do it NOW!
Bank_of_Sterlin: You just dont want to accept that I am your son! Your ashamed of me!
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: yes
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: You lack discipline!
Bank_of_Sterlin: Because you were never around!!
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: Get your mother please
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: let me talk to your mother
Bank_of_Sterlin: You know mommy's phone number, call her, you havent in 5 years...
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: What do you want from me?
Bank_of_Sterlin: Love, and money
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: Negative
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: No deal
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: let's say I do, then what?

*The Liberty Navy calls for aid elswhere*

LPI-John.Kimble[O]: It's showtime!
Bank_of_Sterlin: You never paid child support! You owe me and mommy!
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: I'll be back
Bank_of_Sterlin: There you go again! Running out of my life! AGAIN!
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: yes
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: I'm the party-pooper
Bank_of_Sterlin: Your dead to me... daddy.
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: SO SHUT UP!!!

*Now approaching the battle between the LN and an Outcast bomber, Kimble gets ready to terminate something*

[LN]-Robert.Bueller: Following orders and assisting Mr. Will.
-Stuka-: Ok then. Opens fire. Engage!
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: It's turbo time!
Death: [ExiledHunter]Rorschach was put out of action by -Stuka- (Mine).
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: You've just been erased
[LN]-LNS-Florida: Actually, its "ma'am", but continue pounding that bomber.
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: Nice night for a walk
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: it's showtime!
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: I'm detective John Kimble!
[LN]-Robert.Bueller: Sorry ma'am.
Brakelatabasaasta: And I'm Brakelatabasaasta!
*In the midst of fighting, Kimble nevertheless assaults the Outcast with a barrage of questions*
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: I want to ask you a bunch of questions, and I want to have them answered immediately
Brakelatabasaasta: Together, we're the SUPER TWINS!
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: First, I would like to just get to know you.
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: Who are you!?
Brakelatabasaasta: I'm Brakelatabasaasta.
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: no
Brakelatabasaasta: Yes.
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: You know those movies where they say "Make my day," or "I'm your worst nightmare?" Well listen to this one:
Brakelatabasaasta: 'Kay.
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: Rubber baby buggy bumpers!
Brakelatabasaasta: Indeed!
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: come get me
Brakelatabasaasta: Well... if you say so...
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: no
Brakelatabasaasta: I'm coming to get you!
Brakelatabasaasta: Oh. No?
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: you want names and addresses?
Brakelatabasaasta: Sure.
Death: [LN]-Jack:Will was put out of action by -Stuka- (Gun).
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: you son of a witch!
[LN]-Jack:Will: Ah Man, not my day today
[LN]-LNS-Florida: You sure everything is under control.
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: STOP IT!
[LN]-Robert.Bueller: Not really.
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: You think you're bad? You think you know better!? You're a freaking choir boy compared to me! A CHOIR BOY!!!

*The Outcast, Stuka, begins to retreat*

LPI-John.Kimble[O]: I need a vacation

*Officer Masket arrives to assist*

[LN]-Robert.Bueller: Another cop, O frabjous day!
-Stuka-: Then finish?
LPI-J.D.Masket[O]: WEEE WOOOO WEEEE WOOOO
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: I'm detective John Kimble!
LPI-J.D.Masket[O]: bah, YOU again!?
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: yes
LPI-J.D.Masket[O]: when will you outcasts learn, open fire!
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: it's turbo time!
[LN]-Robert.Bueller: Badum crash!
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: you're damaged goods lady
LPI-J.D.Masket[O]: this is going nowhere hell just keep dodging all day
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: go on
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: do it now!
[LN]-LNS-Halsey: Ah, Liberators. You dont stand a chance, Stuka.
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: you're right
[LN]-Robert.Bueller: What else do cops fly, ma'am?
LPI-J.D.Masket[O]: sorry julie but weve got round the clock emergencies around here
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: absolutely, no problem whatsoever!

*Stuka runs back toward Manhatten and tries to enter the trade lane to West Point. The LPI disables the lane first*

LPI-John.Kimble[O]: one of us is in deep trouble
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: nothing works if it isn't thought out
LPI-J.D.Masket[O]: Stuka, why don't you just come with us... peacefully?
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: this is an arrest
-Stuka-: Ok, hold your fire bunny! I will surrender!

*The Outcast surrenders*

LPI-John.Kimble[O]: this man is under arrest
[LN]-Robert.Bueller: Surrender is a nice word.
LPI-J.D.Masket[O]: Alright stuka, begin flying towards texas system
-Stuka-: Destinaton officer?
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: Miami
-Stuka-: Then call me in group and I will form on you.
LPI-J.D.Masket[O]: You may use trade lanes, but do not attempt to evade us
LPI-J.D.Masket[O]: alright
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: Howdy stranger!
-Stuka-: Ola
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: Come with me if you want to live
-Stuka-: I cant form on you...
LPI-J.D.Masket[O]: just go to texas then, LPI-sugarland
-Stuka-: Just go and I will follow.
LPI-J.D.Masket[O]: going
[LN]-Robert.Bueller: Guess I'll let you guys take 'im to Sugarland.
-Stuka-: ok
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: go on
LPI-J.D.Masket[O]: Navy officers can you take care of this person downing the lane?
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: get your ass to Mars
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: Do it NOW!

*Kimble, Masket, and the Outcast enter the trade lane en route to Texas*

LPI-J.D.Masket[O]: LNS Defiance, we are escorting an outcast to sugarland, hold your fire please
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: Now why are you helping these raving psychotics?
-Stuka-: You mean why amI an outcast?
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: Yeah
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: Sir, are you a henchman?
-Stuka-: Well, I like GC chicks
-Stuka-: Have nice brothers
-Stuka-: thats all
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: I have the utmost respect for women
-Stuka-: Sure me too
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: you expect me to believe you?
-Stuka-: But if you have a GC lover, you must find an alternative path.
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: she's a healthy female of breeding age
-Stuka-: Yes, my friend, you are right.
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: human pair bonding is not among my subroutines
-Stuka-: Good to heat that,
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: desire is irrelevant.
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: I am a machine
-Stuka-: Well, I understand you.
LPI-J.D.Masket[O]: you worry me sometimes, kimble
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: Hey, I'm a police officer.
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: trust me

Location: En route to LPI-Sugarland, in Texas
Kimble and Masket continue to escort the Outcast to prison

-Stuka-: Hmm it looks like these guys dont like me too much.
LPI-J.D.Masket[O]: you have to be a little nuts to survive in this job
-Stuka-: Sure thing.
LPI-J.D.Masket[O]: drop out of the lane early again stuka
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: I'm smart.
-Stuka-: Sorry about your partner.
-Stuka-: He is alive?
-Stuka-: or she maybe...
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: she'll be back
-Stuka-: I mean you had her escape pod?
-Stuka-: nice
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: don't worry, everything is under control.
-Stuka-: well I tried to wait for Aki. So sorry about your losses
-Stuka-: But that Hunter or Vigilante...
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: anger is more useful than despair
-Stuka-: I hope he will lost in space.
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: Excuse me I have a few more questions if you don't mind
-Stuka-: sure thing.
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: I would like to talk to you about Thomas Aquinas.
-Stuka-: How can I help you about ?
LPI-J.D.Masket[O]: drop out of this lane half way down
-Stuka-: Sure, I know the way there *laughs*
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: Now you give me the names of your drug suppliers and distributors, and I'll tell the judge what a nice, cooperative killer you are
-Stuka-: not this is my first visit there
-Stuka-: well...
-Stuka-: I know some
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: go on
-Stuka-: we have some "special agents in Liberty"
-Stuka-: they are mostly suited as a Zoner
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: You must be very proud of yourself.
LPI-J.D.Masket[O]: LPI Sugarland, prepare to recieve prisoners
-Stuka-: why?
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: Did you reeally smoke a joint?
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: and did you in fact, inhale?
-Stuka-: well, I prefer wine, carda", jay...so the answer is yes
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: It has to end here.
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: In case you forget, I'll be checking back with you.
LPI-J.D.Masket[O]: would you mind filing the report on this one kimble?
-Stuka-: Sugarland is ready to tractor me in?
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: Absolutely, this time you can count on me!
LPI-J.D.Masket[O]: It is, you are assigned to cell number 3019, cell block D
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: GAME. OVER.
-Stuka-: nice to met Officers
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: Goodbye.


*The Outcast is locked up in his cell*

Location: LPI Sugarland
Kimble and Masket stake-out the trade lane for smugglers

LPI-J.D.Masket[O]: well done
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: Yeah.
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: Good.
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: what do we gotta do?
LPI-J.D.Masket[O]: watch for blockade runners?

*Several minutes pass by, and a transport train loaded with Cardimine shows up*

LPI-J.D.Masket[O]: what? they actually came to us!?
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: I'm detective John Kimble!
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: I want to ask you a bunch of questions, and I want to have them answered immediately
LPI-J.D.Masket[O]: no bloody way.
*the transport attempts to flee, but the LPI disrupts its engines*
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: STOP IT!
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: I'm a cop you idiot!
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: I want to ask you a bunch of questions, and I want to have them answered immediately
LPI-J.D.Masket[O]: French_QC, halt your ship at once or I will engage!
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: you want to frack with me!?
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: I'm detective John Kimble!

*the train finally halts*

LPI-J.D.Masket[O]: Alright buddy
LPI-J.D.Masket[O]: Jettison the cargo, and well talk
French_QC: want money?
LPI-J.D.Masket[O]: Cargo first.
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: No, i'm not interested in that
LPI-J.D.Masket[O]: and then yes, theres a 4 million credit fine
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: Could I speak to the drug dealer of the house please?
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: are you going to help me now or not!?
French_QC: 3 it ok?
LPI-J.D.Masket[O]: No, drop the cargo and pay 4 million credits
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: I WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON AND I WANT TO KNOW RIGHT NOW!
LPI-J.D.Masket[O]: this is not a haggling game, you are under arrest
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: this is an arrest
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: sir, are you a henchman?
LPI-J.D.Masket[O]: if you dont comply we will open fire
French_QC: i pay pay 2 million to eatch?
LPI-J.D.Masket[O]: no just 4 million to me, we dont keep the money for ourselves anyway
LPI-J.D.Masket[O]: it all ends up in the same place
French_QC: u let me go after?
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: yeah
LPI-J.D.Masket[O]: after you jettison the cargo as well

*the transport tries to flee again, but is quickly disabled once more*

LPI-John.Kimble[O]: Are you crazy!?
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: I'm a cop you idiot!
French_QC: u want i pay 4 millino
LPI-J.D.Masket[O]: Yes.
French_QC: and i drop after?
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: this must be what they mean by... poetic justice.

*It becomes apparent that the smuggler doesnt speak English very well*

French_QC: let me go :/
LPI-J.D.Masket[O]: Pay the fine.
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: the most important thing is money.
French_QC: y dont let me go with my cargo
LPI-J.D.Masket[O]: If you pay the fine now, we will let you turn yourself in. ok?
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: what about the guy you lobotomized, did he get a refund?
French_QC: escort me to beaumoind base i can pay u if i sell my drug
LPI-J.D.Masket[O]: we cant let you do that.
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: no deal.
LPI-J.D.Masket[O]: Pay the fine, and then we will trust you to turn yourself in.
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: This must be the sloppiest bust I've ever seen in my entire career on the Force!
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: I've been a cop your 12 years. My father was a cop, my brother was a cop, my mother was a cop's wife.
French_QC: give me 2 sec
LPI-J.D.Masket[O]: one... two....
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: 1 second.
LPI-J.D.Masket[O]: Dont make me use the shotgun tazer now
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: Are you going to help me now or not!?
French_QC: just if u let me go
LPI-J.D.Masket[O]: you arent in a position to negotiate
French_QC: ok i pay
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: Good.
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: go on. Do it NOW!
French_QC: trade request plz
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: To be, or not to be...

*the trade takes a long time*

LPI-John.Kimble[O]: what's the matter?
French_QC: what is turning myself in?
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: I'm wasting my time.
LPI-J.D.Masket[O]: you fly away and we never see you again
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: this man is totally insane
French_QC: ok
LPI-J.D.Masket[O]: go to the police station on manhattan, or wherever
French_QC: all is ok sir?
LPI-J.D.Masket[O]: sure.
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: Go on
French_QC: pass a good niught
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: Sorry for all that crap I put you through, but hey, what are friends for?
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: in case you forget, I'll be checking back with you.
LPI-John.Kimble[O]: goodbye.
French_QC: see u later

---

Feedback. John Kimble ID John Kimble vs. Cleverbot. Kimble investigated for harassment and instability. Kimble's disappearance. Kimble is fired from the LPI. Kimble imprisoned in Bretonia.