Brakelatabasaasta + Jenny Govvy WEDDING TIME!

[Zukeenee]

Safely seated inside Bert the Starblazer, Brakelatabasaasta launched from Planet Manhattan to find his one and only love, Jennifer Government. Well, that's not entirely true, Brakelatabasaasta thought. Jenny Govvy isn't my only love. I got lots of loves! Like rusty metal combs and Keepy-friends.

Once he had passed the ionosphere and entered into space, Brakelatabasaasta sent out a transmission to all ships in range.

"Hey everybody! So I'm looking for Jenny Govvy. Anyone seen her?"

"Jenny Govvy?" the captain of a nearby Gull Transport responded. "Who's that? I doubt I know them, but still..."

"Jenny Govvy!" Brakelatabasaasta responded quickly. Then, realizing that Jenny might be better known by her actual name, he cleared his throat and spoke again. "Jennifer Government. She's this person who flies a spaceship. Much like you! And me. And a lot of people. Have you seen her?"

The comms were silent for a moment before the transport captain spoke again. "Listen, asking random people in Manhattan orbit isn't usually the best way to locate someone. Have you gone to the LPI? Do you know any friends of this person?"

"I'm her friend!" Brakelatabasaasta said cheerfully. "And I know myself. So yes, I do know a friend of hers." Brakelatabasaasta thought for a moment. "So... you're saying I should ask myself where Jenny is?"

"No, that's not--"

"Okay thanks bye!" Brakelatabasaasta interrupted, and he cut the communications. He then reached behind his seat and pulled out a convenient hand-held mirror. "So... mister Brakelatabasaasta... if that is your real name!" He said to his reflection. "Tell me where Jenny is. I know you're hiding something from me! You know where she is, and I'm not letting up on you until you spill the three-bean-salad!"

"I don't know anything! I swear! It's all a misunderstanding!" The reflection pleaded. "Please, I don't understand what's going on here. These men took me from my home and put a bag over my head, I just--"

Brakelatabasaasta slapped the reflection. "I didn't ask for your life story, lady! I want to know one thing, and one thing only! Where's Jenny?!"

The reflection glanced around his frame, seeing no obvious exits. "I... really, I don't even know who Jenny is! Please, I need to get home! My family is probably worried sick..."

"You don't have a family, moron!" Brakelatabasaasta yelled. "I know everything about you, because you're me!"

The reflection suddenly stopped his nervous shaking and thought for a moment. "So... wait. If you're me, you know everything I know. Right?"

"Right," Brakelatabasaasta replied.

"So then, if I know where this 'Jenny' is, then you must already know where she is too, right?"

Brakelatabasaasta frowned. "No, that's... not right... at least, I don't think so... Fish! This always worked in those movies! Why-- you're-- I won't play your mind games!"

Brakelatabasaasta yelled and smashed the mirror on his dashboard console repeatedly until the cockpit was littered with small bits of glass and plastic. He threw the mangled plastic handle at the front window and fumed. Seconds later, he came to realize what he had just done, and shook his head slowly.

"Man, I loose so many good mirrors that way. If only those Atsaasabatalekarbs weren't so infuriating!"

Just then, the comms unit on Bert's dashboard crackled, and a voice filled the cockpit.

"Jennifer Government, huh?" The voice said. "I know that name. The chick's a real fireball."

Brakelatabasaasta locked onto the origin of the voice, and found that it came from the other side of the planet. He opened a channel with the mysterious voice. "You know her? Great! Take me to her."

The comms unit crackled again, longer this time. Brakelatabasaasta was having trouble receiving the newcomer's transmission with a planet between the two of them. Eventually, the static cleared up, and the voice spoke again. "Heh heh... I can do that. But first, I want you to do something for me. Tell me, what's the traffic like around the docking ring, where you are? Any cops?"

Brakelatabasaasta took a quick look around the space surrounding him. A freelancer in an Eagle was just exiting the lane from Fort Bush, a Universal Shipping convoy was on its way toward West Point... and a pair of LPI fighters were sitting right in front of Newark Station.

"Yeah. Two of them. Near the big space-building," Brakelatabasaasta replied.

"Damn..." came the voice. "Alright, listen. You gotta get them away from there. Otherwise, I can't take you to your friend."

"Yessir!" Brakelatabasaasta said. "If it's for the sake of seeing Jenny, I'll do whatever it takes!"

Brakelatabasaasta steered Bert over to Newark and parked himself only a few feet from the nose of one of the LPI fighters. "Hi," he said to them.

There was silence from the two policemen, but at this distance, Brakelatabasaasta could see the two officers fidgeting around in their small cockpits, scanning the small ship and pulling up their records on registered civilian spacecraft.

"Hello," the closer of the two finally said. "What's going on?"

"Well, I need you two guys to go somewhere else for a while," Brakelatabasaasta said simply.

This time, the other officer spoke. "What's that supposed to mean? What are you up to, civilian?"

"You see, there's this guy on the other side of the planet," Brakelatabasaasta explained, "and he--"

"All Liberty forces report to the Fort Bush/Colorado Gate lane immediately!" The transmission was system wide. "We have several Rogues and at least one Outcast gunship disrupting traffic. All available ships, respond!"

One of the LPI officers cursed as they both pivoted their ships to face the Fort Bush lane. "Listen, civilian, just stay out of trouble," the second officer said, and they left.

Making sure the two officers were well out of range, Brakelatabasaasta re-opened his channel to the mysterious voice. "Olly olly oxen free!" He said. Minutes later, a small, beat-up freighter came into view from around the planet.

"Thanks a bunch, man. Even if you didn't end up doing anything yourself..." the freighter pilot said.

"Nah, I totally planned for those Rogues and what-not to show up at that moment." Brakelatabasaasta said. "Like, totally. All part of my master plan."

"Right..." said the freighter pilot. "Well, just let me land and off-load this cargo. My buyer should be waiting on the docks, so it won't be long. Name's James, by the way. What's yours?"

"Brakelatabasaasta!"

James was silent for a moment. "Okay," he said finally. "That's... just fine. Anyway, I'll be back out in just a few minutes." With that, James entered the docking ring and began his descent.

Ten minutes passed, and James returned. "Sorry to keep you waiting; hope it wasn't too much of a problem," he said.

"No, no," Brakelatabasaasta replied nonchalantly. "I occupied myself by counting Bert's console-blinkies. Fish, man, he has a lot!"

"Right," James said, "Well, form on me. I'll take you to Miss Government."

Brakelatabasaasta entered formation with James' CSF, and the two took off into the debris cloud.


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"Well, kid, this is it," James said to Brakelatabasaasta as they walked into Rochester's living quarters. "She's renting a room somewhere on this station, but I don't know which. You should ask around, someone's gotta know." James gave Brakelatabasaasta a pat on the pack and turned to leave. "Anyways, thanks for the help out there above Manhattan. Good luck finding your friend!" James returned to the docking bays, leaving Brakelatabasaasta in a hallway with dozens of doors.

"Jenny Govvy's behind one of them..." Brakelatabasaasta told himself. "I just have to find the right one!"

Brakelatabasaasta pulled open the nearest door. "Jenny? Nope? Sorry. Next!" He opened the next door, and asked again. "Jenny? Nope? Sorry. Next! Jenny? Nope? Sorry. Next! Jenny?..."

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