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  Discovery Gaming Community Role-Playing Stories and Biographies RP Stories Feedback Forum
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Zoey Sakura, feedback thread

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Zoey Sakura, feedback thread
Offline Denelo
04-21-2010, 04:42 PM,
#2
Member
Posts: 1,816
Threads: 77
Joined: Feb 2007

Glad to see this. Kudos to you for opening it. After our little encounter over Leeds, though, I do think some feedback is in order. Bear in mind that the below is only my entitled opinion, I'm not sparing your feelings, et al, and I hold nothing against you as a person.

Now, that said...

"Psst" "How about you cough up two millions eh?" (four seconds pass) "Like... now" "*pewpew* "Best hurry up" and "I'm a Kusarian Gaian, I hate Junkers" is anything but stupendous RP, especially when you knew I was RPing with someone else at the time and most likely typing. I got the impression that you - the player- simply wanted to lolPvP me, and find the best excuse you possibly could to do so. While this may not have been the case, that was the impression you made.

Other than what is previously mentioned, the only things you said during that whole two-hour encounter were "No." when another Gaian begged you to stop shooting, "So?" when the panicked Junker started yelling about how she was going to tell on you - which, by the way, was the single best piece of RP from you in that whole encounter - a death threat as you were running away, and "Stop dodging and fight, whore" after Suzume'd made it abundantly clear that she hadn't the faintest idea how to activate her weapons. While I understand that your character hates Junkers for some weird unknown reason - presumably because her background is stereotyped into hating Junkers, and that only because of a secret underground political war going on between the Junkers and Hogosha - I wasn't under the impression that she was supposed to be stupid or incapable of speaking. I also understand that she's supposed to be hormonal or something, which is why is surprised me that she gave very little in the way of heated or at all emotional responses when Suzume and Ritsuka danced around her totally dodging her shots and taunting her the whole time.

Unless of course you think hormonal means horny?

Anyhow, that encounter told me little to nothing about your character. You need to work on telling less and showing more. Even if your character is a quiet type - and based on your threads, I'd say she isn't - you can easily RP well anyways, especially if you limit your replies to short, terse, single- or double-word sentences (as opposed to no replies at all).

So yeah. More in-game RPing - esp. emotion, actual speech, and overall character development - and less pewpew and horniness.

As for the RP stories... well, the nicest way to put it is that you really need to play more male characters. Seriously.

To sum up my general feedback: either play a girl or play a guy, not something in between; try to play something different for a change (all your characters that I'm aware of are evil, horny, genocidal madmen/madwomen who don't talk much other than to threaten to kill people and when you have something that smells strangely like a pre-written script); and work on character depth and development and in-game RPing.
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Messages In This Thread
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by Akura - 04-21-2010, 03:43 AM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by Denelo - 04-21-2010, 04:42 PM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by Akura - 04-21-2010, 05:09 PM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by Denelo - 04-23-2010, 04:21 PM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by Akura - 04-23-2010, 04:35 PM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by LegendOfTheWolf - 04-24-2010, 04:28 PM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by Akura - 04-25-2010, 02:35 AM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by Akura - 05-04-2010, 10:03 PM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by HuggieSunrise - 05-05-2010, 08:06 PM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by Akura - 05-05-2010, 08:12 PM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by SMI-Great.Fox - 05-09-2010, 11:29 AM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by Osilon - 05-09-2010, 11:01 PM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by Lancelot9 - 05-09-2010, 11:02 PM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by Akura - 05-09-2010, 11:20 PM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by SMI-Great.Fox - 05-10-2010, 12:07 AM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by Akura - 05-10-2010, 12:17 AM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by schlurbi - 05-12-2010, 07:49 AM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by Akura - 05-15-2010, 01:56 AM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by Akura - 05-15-2010, 02:42 AM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by Akura - 05-16-2010, 05:23 PM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by casero - 05-16-2010, 06:06 PM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by Akura - 05-16-2010, 06:14 PM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by Jongleur - 05-16-2010, 07:09 PM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by Skullz - 05-16-2010, 07:16 PM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by Akura - 05-16-2010, 07:17 PM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by Skullz - 05-16-2010, 07:20 PM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by BaconSoda - 05-21-2010, 10:15 PM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by Akura - 05-21-2010, 11:24 PM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by BaconSoda - 05-22-2010, 01:42 AM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by Akura - 05-22-2010, 11:34 AM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by mang109 - 05-22-2010, 11:52 AM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by Sprolf - 05-22-2010, 04:18 PM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by Akura - 05-22-2010, 04:22 PM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by Akura - 05-23-2010, 01:04 AM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by Sprolf - 05-23-2010, 04:58 AM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by Akura - 05-23-2010, 01:27 PM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by SMI-Great.Fox - 05-23-2010, 01:36 PM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by Akura - 05-23-2010, 01:48 PM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by Chenzo- - 05-25-2010, 01:31 AM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by Zelot - 05-25-2010, 01:50 AM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by Harcourt.Fenton.Mudd - 05-25-2010, 01:59 AM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by Zelot - 05-25-2010, 02:06 AM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by Akura - 05-25-2010, 02:01 PM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by SMI-Great.Fox - 05-29-2010, 05:17 AM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by Akura - 05-29-2010, 11:25 AM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by Osilon - 06-29-2010, 01:36 PM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by Valarin - 08-08-2010, 06:29 PM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by Akura - 08-09-2010, 02:20 AM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by [Cerberus] Illusive Man - 08-09-2010, 03:04 AM
Zoey Sakura, feedback thread - by Malenka - 08-29-2010, 10:08 PM

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