The Alcatraz depot lounge and pub

[Tomtomrawr]

'Well, ya probably know that I moved down to tha Omegas to make ma fortune. Specifically Omega-7. Well it 'as been tha ultimate place to make creds. Tha minas pretty much always pay 'nd there are plenty o' lawfuls around so ya can claim bounty on any o' 'em.

'But anyway, what gave me this idea was when I was piratin' in tha north minin' section a few days ago. There were three minas there at tha time. Two o' 'em paid before I even got within scannin' range, 'nd I only 'ad ta say one thing to tha third to get tha creds from 'im. In 'bout three minutes, I made twelve millions.

'So that time gave me a thought: tha minas respect me now, 'nd they know what I'm capable o', so they pay up now. But recently, security 'as tightened. I was tryin' Dublin a few days ago, 'nd tha Bretonians decided ta send 'n entire destroyer after me. Yeah, not much compared to what ya boys get in California, but still it shows tha security. 'nd there are plenty more problems in Omega-7 aswell. I barely touch Dublin, just ta add. But in Omega-7 I can 'ave a ship on me like that.' He emphasised the point with a slam of his hand on the table. His plate of steak and empty glass shook. He started eating again, glad that his food was still warm. He took another large piece, put it in his mouth, chewed and swallowed, then continued.

'That system is so small ya gotta be quick when piratin'. But anyway, there's one more thing which gave me this idea: tha presence o' more pirates. More 'sairs are comin' in. More 'essians. More independant Joes 'nd Janes like me. More everybody.

'Now I know that tha Rogues loves makin' creds. Well, tha Omegas are a gold mine. Ya got tha minas 'nd tha traders. But, tha Liberty Rogues got a problem. Ya got some friends down there who probably wouldn't want ya movin' in. Like tha 'essians. So, ya send down maybe five guys. Professionals. Give 'em Rocs with Snacks. Give 'em tha independant pirate look, but then 'ave 'em workin' together. They 'it tha minin' site one at a time with this offer: four millions 'nd they'll leave tha guy alone for tha rest o' tha day. If tha mina pays one pirate 'e may aswell pay 'em all, otherwise 'e wasted 'is creds with tha first one or two.

'But ya'll 'ave lawfuls comin' knockin', which is where I got problems. Ya see, I'm only one man. One man with a decent Snack aim yeah, but I can only 'andle so many ships. So when tha lawfuls come around after tha one, that guy calls in all o' tha other guys to get rid o' tha lawful with 'im. So with this, ya can control tha piracy in tha rich Omega-7 system with a few Rocs set around. One goes to pirate tha minas up north, tha others 'ang around in other systems piratin' on lanes or other minas.

'If ya bring enough force and expertise, tha lawfuls wouldn't be able to stop us. 'nd before all o' tha minas pack up 'nd quit, we make a nice littl' profit. I already got enough creds to last 'undreds o' lifetimes with ma current spendin' without ship maintenance, so I don't care what 'appens to Omega-7 now.'

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[17:45:39] Wolfs Ghost (Murphy): Tom, you have problems. Go kill yourself.
[19:25:12] Johnny (Jam): Tomtom, I will beat you with a spoon.
[14:22:56] Prarabdh Thakur: KILL HIM WITH A SHEEP.
[17:40:48] Eagle (Junes): Tom should be slapped with a spoon.
[11:32:18] Warspite: Thank you for being so awesome Tom. <3
[18:17:36] Metano: I love you tomtom
[20:06:24] Warspite: I will seriously give you epic head.

Edit: also, Tomtomrawr, fappin' like a boss.