TAZ Message Dump

[Yaoquizque]

++ Source : Gabriel Angelos, Captain of the Tau.Ceti.Central ++
++ Destination : TAZ popes ++
++ Derivation : none ++
++ Encryption level : mu ++
++ Transmission begins ++

We're back, and better than ever!

Howdy popes. How is it going? Well i hope.

So as you may know my crew did a big party against my will and i was forced to participate...
*you hear Saaz's voice on the background : * Not true, you initiated the party and then forced us to participate.

Shhh Saaz! Dey don't need to know! *You can conclude rather easily Gabriel is drunk at the moment*

Don't listen to my officer, popes. He's a pathological liar!
So they celebrated and perpetrated orgies and i was forced to participate against my will and all!

To put an end to this, i consulted my pineal and asked to Eris some help. But she didn't answer. Guess she was busy somewhere else uh?

*Gabriel uses a bold, badass voice :* So i realized i had to deal with this personnally.

I used my impressive personnality and charisma and ordered them to stop and they did! No one can mess with Gabriel. Ahahah!
*you hear again Saaz's voice on the background : * Cool story cap'n. Truth is after a week, you drank all your Gallic wine stock. After a huge hangover you realized you had to trade a bit to buy more of this wine. So we eventually took the road again.

Move out of my quarters Saaz!
*You can hear impacts as Gabriel certainly throws some objects to hit Saaz*
Ye you betta run if you don't want to die!

Oh, before i forgive : I also had a strange encounter in Tau23.

Saerieve: hmm.... Where so fast? So, you're another one of those Zoner pigs who cant talk?
[TAZ]Tau.Ceti.Central: Erm
Saerieve: And I suggest you stop Or something really painful will happen to you.
[TAZ]Tau.Ceti.Central: My apologies pilot, i wasn't in the control room. So wut d'ya want?
Saerieve: Yea, sure. All of them say that. *Talks to himself* All of them pigs
[TAZ]Tau.Ceti.Central: Right...
Saerieve: So... *Scratches his chin*... Let me see what should I do to you know... You worth nothing to me... Nothing!
[TAZ]Tau.Ceti.Central: Oy pilot
Saerieve: You're just a Worthless piece of meat.
[TAZ]Tau.Ceti.Central: I'm lacking some wine. Would you sell yours to me?
Saerieve: Why shouldn't I turn you into scrap right now? And what makes you think I'll give my nice wine to a Pig like you?
[TAZ]Tau.Ceti.Central: Well that's a good question. Dunno, cause i asked gently?
Saerieve: Seems your so-called "Doc", hadn't told his little puppies who I am. Or maybe you forget so fast. Which one is it?
[TAZ]Tau.Ceti.Central: I'm not sure to understand what you mean my dear
Saerieve: You're so useless in that piece of junk you're flying. So, Useless!
[TAZ]Tau.Ceti.Central: So? Isn't it my right to be useless?
Saerieve: And all you bunch pretending like you're such a Kind and Nice group... It's just *Chuckles coldly and shakes his head* Makes me feel like turning your ugly ship into a piece of scrap for no reason. No reason for -You- of course! I'll enjoy it more or less. Although even turning you into a piece of scrap is not that Enjoyable...
[TAZ]Tau.Ceti.Central: Eh... Are you using some drugs or something sir?
Saerieve: So let me see... How many Crew do you have to run that Ship?
[TAZ]Tau.Ceti.Central: Some
Saerieve: You know, I mean, In total. Even the one that licks the Toilets Clean.
[TAZ]Tau.Ceti.Central: We're ten around 'ere
Saerieve: hmm... *Nods* Good. How would you feel, if you had to continue your trip, with only Seven of them?
[TAZ]Tau.Ceti.Central: That would be sad news
Saerieve: Well, not for me!
[TAZ]Tau.Ceti.Central: I could give you ain, He puts stuffs in the engine all day long. a good guy *obviously lying*
Saerieve: Its your chance to get yourself and rest of your crew out of here alive. So, what about... You kick Three of them Pigs you have on your Ugly ship out of the airlocks, One by One, and I let you go?
[TAZ]Tau.Ceti.Central: I'm not sure. What will happen to them uh?
Saerieve: hmm... Dont worry, You'll see. *Smiles coldly*
[TAZ]Tau.Ceti.Central: I worry; I would like details my dear
Saerieve: Well, I'll make the same thing happen to -You- if you dont do what I say right now.
[TAZ]Tau.Ceti.Central: Why so serious? Can't we come to some sort of deal uh?
Saerieve: Because I dont see a reason to Deal with a bunch of Pigs!
[TAZ]Tau.Ceti.Central: Come on, be reasonable please
Saerieve: I am.
[TAZ]Tau.Ceti.Central: we're talking of human lives here
Saerieve: Indeed, Yet another reason for you to act faster.
[TAZ]Tau.Ceti.Central: What about i give you 25mil to not touch to my crew uh? Fair deal or wat?
Saerieve: *Laughs coldly* What about... No?
[TAZ]Tau.Ceti.Central: Aight... unreasonable people... *sigh*
Saerieve: One, by One!
[TAZ]Tau.Ceti.Central: Enjoy
Saerieve: No, thats not what I ordered you to do!
[TAZ]Tau.Ceti.Central: Too late
Saerieve: Take them back in and kick them out one by one. And I -Might- let you keep the last one!
[TAZ]Tau.Ceti.Central: I dropped three men of my crew. That's it
Saerieve: Fair deal, isnt it? *Laughs coldly*
[TAZ]Tau.Ceti.Central: Go ahead mister
Saerieve: Well, you chose it yourself. With your pointless arguments
[TAZ]Tau.Ceti.Central: eh?
Saerieve: Now, I want you to sit and watch the show. Oh, and... Maybe record it so you can show it to "Doc" as well! *Points at the Pod* What's his name?
[TAZ]Tau.Ceti.Central: I'm forwarding at the moment this conversation my dear. Don't worry he will have a word about this
Saerieve: *Shouts* I asked What's his Name!
[TAZ]Tau.Ceti.Central: Henry holiday?
Saerieve: *Chuckles Coldly* The man in the Pod?
[TAZ]Tau.Ceti.Central: Ah my bad, didn't understand. I'm a pig after all uh?
Saerieve: *Nods*
[TAZ]Tau.Ceti.Central: I can't say who is there until i take him back
Saerieve: Well, There is a little problem here... You're not getting him back! *Smiles coldly*
[TAZ]Tau.Ceti.Central: Indeed
Saerieve: See?
[TAZ]Tau.Ceti.Central: *not surprised*
Saerieve: So, which one first? The one on my Left, or the one on my Right?
[TAZ]Tau.Ceti.Central: Whatever makes you happy friendo
Saerieve: You'd better Asnwer me, because turning this useless pile of Junk sitting in front of me right now into Scrap makes me more Happy, and you should already know it! Which one now?
[TAZ]Tau.Ceti.Central: I answered. You chose
Saerieve: "Right" or, "Left"? You have only these two choices to answer me. Any other answer, and I'll take it as "Front". And that wont end well, for you at least!
[TAZ]Tau.Ceti.Central: Let's say Right and left. It will end up this way anyway uh?
Saerieve: Right it is then, And you'd better think twice before opening your stinky mouth and talking more than you are allowed to. *Chuckles coldly* Enjoying the show? Now let's see how that dirty ship of yours can fly with Three less crew... You have, Twenty Five seconds to get the Heck out of my Scanners. And that starts from now. *Folds his arms and leans back* *Checks the time on his console* Not so fast, are you?
[TAZ]Tau.Ceti.Central: I can't move. Happy now?
Saerieve: *Chuckles coldly* Then you can stay here while you rott! *Laughs Coldly and Activates his cruise Engines* Tell your "Doc" that I said Hi!

Too bad for him, i did put dummies in the drop pods, so he didn't kill any member of my crew. *Gabriel laughs*
Anyway, the only thing i can say is this nice boy likes Gallic wine at least as much as i do! Saw how he refused to sell me wine? That was really annoying! *Gabriel makes his angry face*

So popes, we're "on the road again"!
Dat is all.
Hail Eris.


++ End of transmission ++

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