The Plague Logs

[Marburg]

Just 'cause I'm asleep don't mean nothins' goin' on:

I'm playin' pool with some baby seals, & I'm payin' more attention ta how they hold their cues w/ their flippers than all the shots the're makin' offa me, & I'm probably gonna loose the the bag of toenails the game is riding on.

Half of a dead celebrity comes crawlin' in the barroom trailin' blood on the floor from her torso like a slug, & tugs on my pants leg ta get my attention.

"There's a guy by the back window that wants to speak to you."

I smiled down to her much obliged, & scoop her up by her armpits & plop her on the table, & she starts playin' piano on a lunchpail. The baby seals got all offended & left in a huff ta go clubbin'.

I mosey over to the table by the window..."Howdy Me."
'Hey Dude' I smile back at myself. 'I'm proud of you...take a seat & have a drink w/ me.'

I pull up a chair & the waitress from The Sh*tland saunters over & sets two cans of motor oil in front of us.

"Thank yew Darlin'" I tell her in the most cool & manly fashion I could muster. She doesn't say anything, she just smiles that smile of hers at me that makes me feel like my guts aim ta fall floorways & be grateful about it. As she walks away, she shows me how pretty her middle finger is, but, I'm too busy noticein' somethin else 'o hers that's awful pretty.

'Knock it off.' I tell myself, 'You can't trust her.'
"Why not?"
'Because I don't trust her.'

"Don't p*ss down my back an tell me it's rainin'" I finally turn & say to myself. "You best stop playin' w/ me like a fiddle, & say what you gotta say!"

'....... ::sigh:: Alright then.'

'To make it simple, & put it in terms you can understand, ...She's some smarmy folk.'

'everytime she looks at you & smiles, You get that sinking feeling in your stomach, yeah?'
"Yep" I nod.
'That's 'cause she'd sooner disembowel you than go out with you.'
....???..."I don't follow yeh."

'Remember when I let you know about the Blood Cells & the Clotters?'
"yep"
'Well, she's an Antigen.'

'I'm not going to give you a biology lesson, so, just know that antigens esentially create the proper conditions for a virus to enter a cell...When the Green Front wants to assasinate someone, sabotage something, or generally spy around, they send an Antigen. ......I can't stand them, 'cause, in my opinion, they don't have any honor, but, they are useful in the respect that they can preceed a Plague Dog Attack like a harbinger, & make our jobs a little easier.'

'Dengue assigned her to you, & she's the one that dumped you on Manhattan.'

"WHAT?!?!?!"
'You heard me'
"WHY!?!?!?!"
'I'm not going to tell you yet.'

"YOU SMEGGIN' BAS*ARD!!!" I jump up & growl, thowin' my chair across the room.
'It's not going to do you any good to get mad at yourself.'

My other self calmly gets up ta face me, smiles, & slugs me across my jaw....& just like that...I woke up.

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