New Personal Log Entry: 6.27.818.A.S. - No Title -
Been a while since I made a log for myself... Figured, what the Hell, I miss speaking my mind somewhere, as opposed to keeping it all cooped up in my head...
Just sitting here over that Geode thing in Baffin.. nice view, always good for a think, y'know...? No TAZ fellas around either, nice and quiet...
What am I doing with myself, man... Jeeze, feel like I'm runnin' around without a head, not a whole lot of purpose... Tired. Like I ran my share of a marathon and then up and fell flat on my face. Been tryin' to think of what's up, why I'm so...
Damn...
It's that whole "loneliness" crap again, I reckon...
Yeah that's gotta be it... Eating at me again. Don't have anything to do to keep my mind off it.
I mean Hell, those two police fellas, talking between each other, you just know they're together, guy freakin' dropped a hint over open comms for God's sake, but...
Jealous? Nah, can't be, I'm glad I'm who I am, where I am... I think... I...
Jealous... not jealous of them really, just...
Yeah... And then Rach shows up, everything's all fine and dandy, and then I get that speech about "can't imagine dealing with people outside of the Navy"... Cock of bull if you asked me, I mean for crying out loud, I've seen enough to...
No... No that's not it, it was the way she said it... That "I'm forsaken" or "I'm kinda lonely" sorta thing, I don't know, just pisses me off though... What does she want from me? Reminding me of how SOL I am while saying she's sort of screwed, but "can't imagine..."
Damnit... Just, damnit to Hell...
I can't keep thinkin' about this kind of crap or I'll got nuts... Hell I already am goin' nuts, least I was right for a change...
I don't know. Really don't. Where do I go, what do I do? Been flying solo almost my whole damn life, you'd think a guy like me could keep his crap straight, but no. Here I am, staring at some freaking gas giant and... and...
Nah... Can't bash the place, it's a pretty system...
Anywho...
Times like this I'm glad I don't booze up too hard. I mean I can have fun with it, loosen up, but I've never drowned myself in the stuff, that'd never end well, 'specially in a cockpit. Last thing I need is to wreck this girl anyway...
Girl... No, no, stupid, I mean the Outflyer. Damn... We've been through a lot, haven't we? I remember when I bought you off that lot, you looked like somebody took a rusty bucket and glued engines on it with spit and chewing gum... Good times, I reckon...
Still got you, I guess. Me and you against the universe, like always... Just a bit lonely is all...
Kinda cold in here...
Freakin' vent's broken again, that's why, I'll kick you back to life you little son of a- there, all better, nice and cozy.
Should be headin' back about now, check on the "homestead" and all that jazz. Maybe have a drink, still have some Jackhammer brew layin' around I think. Should last me for another week, then hop up to Ames, get another...
Aw Hell who am I kidding, I feel like flyin' myself into a star...
And this thing's still recording? Crap, not one of my better logs...
