Some feed back on the concepts ofthis story I'm setting up.

[Colonel Z.e.r.o.]

Which concepts exactly?

Seemed a little too rushed on the development of society outside of the Kay'an culture. Prejudice obviously still exists in your world, but what else exists? What other negative human traits from Earth survived the journey? Are the Kay'an people reawakening the prejudice, or are they just the new focus for all of these other cultures, like the Britainians? That kind of stuff.

Good question, just how greatly did the past transgressions affect the way the Asarians and all the other colonies perception of one another? What exactly is earth to them now? A bad memory? A painful reminder? Is it even tangible?

I'm a complete retard can you explain a little more and how specifically.

Something random, like landing on the wrong planet and getting poisoned by radiation, became a jumping off point for religious zealotry and it seems like the story will evolve it further into an all out war or terrorism at least.

I'm considering making the part of the reason their voyage was even possible was the fact that their group was being use as a mean to transfer resource from great ranges to the other colonies. Rather than a group equal to others, a sub servant band of misfits, no different from a colony that were merely strung along for their desperation rather than a great belief they would find true independence. That may make a good means for distrusting the others.

I can follow that logic as you present it. You talk about the mutations blinding people and disfiguring them, as would be expected of radiation poisoning. Even in the post I'm quoting from, you talk about how their enhanced abilities that are derived from the radiation are very minor (able to see through smoke, not walls, etc). In other words, you treat the subject with respect and don't use it like some Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle "ooze" that is all benefit and no downside. Reminds me of how Mass Effect treated the subject of Bionics. Most kids died outright, others went crazy trying to control their powers, and only a select few could truly harness anything good out of the effects of Element Zero poisoning. Like I said, its logical that something like that would lead to more tragedy than superpowers.

I don't know why but I always felt that in order to truly expose a character you need to show them at their greatest and their weakest. Not only manifest in their physical abilities but also their own moral structure and the moral structure of their local societies. Let them question their triumphant acts while others only see object truths. Allow their optimism and pessimism to fluctuate aggressively at times. It's like Red dead redemption has been so far, the guy's modesty and direct criticism is what makes stand out. Not just in matters that appeal to his plight but also in he most trivial of things. Greatest example can be the stranger tasks and how they seem to compliment the "Dying west" allowing the player to recognize the authentic conflict within the scenery.

So yeah, the undying human fear of things that are different, the need for a divine explanation of a chance occurance (the mutations), this divine explanation leading people to think they are "chosen", this leading to zealotry, the zealotry leading to possible war....hell man, all of that just flows beautifully.

These were inspired by concepts like Aryan-ism, Adam and Eve, and hell Even Trigun (Vash and Knives). Speaking of which the introduction of the whole populace in question would actually be prompt by a rather uncomfortable reunion of two or more scouts,(although, that would require me to escalate the mutation rate and stability of certain people over others) that discover the first planet and their new found look...

I'm having difficulty as to where to start. Should I just **** around. Should I hit with a list of character profiles and how deep they run into it the plot or what? I don't wanna focus too hard on the charactera as to were I'm stuck or lose interest in the main devices. But I also don't want the make the overarching story or plot device to be so great I lose the personal plots and motives making the only thing that's keeping things in motion (appear as) I giant war, conspiracy, rescue mission, or quest to save/avenge/impress a town/the world that doesn't even like you.

I'm not to sure where you should go with it. Like I said, as the basis for a story, what you already have is solid. I could see you creating a protagonist amidst that background.

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Nathan's Log || The "Real Story" of Lenox Casper