Hellfire Legion Recruitment Center - Closed.

[Denelo]

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Communicator Identification: Executive Commander Adam Daniels
Target Identification: Applicants


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Righ'. Since tha Lord Commander hasn' bothered yet, I get t' deal wit' yew bunch, so lissin' up real good, 'cause I ain't goin' t' repeat myself.

Yer tha sorriest bunch a' excuses fer applicants as I've ever seen! Iffin' this is the way the Legion's goin', I weep fer the future a' Liberty, 'cause all a' y'all need t' shape up. What kind a' applications're these, anyhow? Yew think applyin' fer the Legion's just another day in tha office? What I say here's goin' t' change yer lives. D' yew not care enough about that t' fill out proper applications an' do yer research? Half a' yew ain't said half a' what yew can provide t' the Legion, an' if yer t' be believed, then none a' yew is any good at all! Yew bunch're enough t' make a man sorry 'e even took this position in the first place.

Yew know what? Outta every five PFCs we admit, three never make it any further. Tha's more'n half that never even get anywhere, an' just outta the folks we admit, which is less th'n half a' all the folks who apply in tha first place! Tha military ain't fer everyone, 'specially one as dangerous as tha Legion, so yew keep that in mind iffin' yer goin' t' apply.

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Still around? Well, then let's see about them applications.

David Walker: Who exactly d' yew think yew are, anyhow? Yer tellin' me yew went AWOL on tha Navy, an' they let yew? Yew really expect me t' believe that? An' yew can' even spell "Lieutenant" proper! An' d' yew call that a list a' skills? Yew tell us yew can bring yer "skills", but don' say what they are. Yew say yew can assist wit' our "goals". D'yew even know what our goals are? Yew even know who we are? Yew say yew'd do anythin' we told yew to. Tha's a stinkin' given. This is tha military, an' yew follow our order 'r yew get yerself kicked t' the curb wit' every Navyman in Liberty wantin' t' tear yer liddle heart out. Yew get me? So gimme more infermation. An' no nonsense about jus' "handin' in yer badge" an' the Navy lettin' yew do it. Tha LPI don't even let yew do that, much less tha Navy, 'specially iffin' yer the only survivor a' a Legion raid. So fer now, tha's one suspended application.

Jack Mason: Excuse me!? Yer planet got blown up? This is by far tha WORST application I've EVER had tha misfortune t' see! What're yew high on? We don' take wasted junkies in the Legion. I'd recommend yew pay a visit t' yer local substance abuse center an' try t' get yerself off it. Application firmly denied

"John": Boy, yer... no. Jus' no. Yer underage, an' iffin' this is how yer rebellin' against yer Navy father 'r somethin', don'. Go solve yer parental issues. Have a heart t' heart wit' yer ol' man an' don' go applyin' fer illegal militaries. Do I even need t' say denied?

Andrew Johnson: I talked t' yew in space, an' yer a bit bright-eyed an' bushy-tailed. I'm worried yer goin' t' get yerself killed. The Legion ain't a horde a' nice an' fluffy folks, despite tha name a' McKinsey's gunboat. We're a military. Yew understan' me? I expect yew t' work yer BUTT off - we don' have tha time 'r patience t' treat yew like a momma's baby, like tha Navy does. So iffin' yew can MAN UP jus' a bit an' stop worryin' over every liddle thing like some liddle kid panickin' over a test, yer application is accepted.

Justin Tabithis: By far tha best application here, though wit' this sorry bunch, that ain't sayin' much. Navy officer, huh? So yer offerin' us yer ship. Yew stopped t' think a moment about yer crew? What, are yew tellin' me they're all just as willin' t' come off an' help us as yew are? 'Cause I don' fer a moment believe that. Probably, most of 'em'll think yer a traitor. Yew willin' t' deal wit' that? ARE YEW!? Yew can bring a bunch t' us, but are yew willin'? If so, I suppose yer accepted, though yew'll need t' talk t' us about that ship some more.

Also, yew flunked out on... uh... Question 11 a' tha' questionnaire, an' Scenario 2 is borderline. Yer answer t' Scenario Question 3 is unusual, an' technically it's wrong, but yer explanation cleared that up, so yew'll pass on that fer tactical thinkin'. We always need tactical thinkin', so iffin' yew survive yer pilot days, yew may jus' be officer material. Yew'll need t' talk t' me about 11 an' Scenario 2, though.

Tha's it, folks. An' now that yew've wasted half an hour a' my time, yew two'd better do somethin' useful, 'r I'm goin' t' be right upset, I am.

Dismissed!

Transmission ended.

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