about ''Bounty on Silver Reaver''

[Cond0r]

[font=Fixedsys]Incoming Transmission...
ID: Pasta "Smart" Offices, Public Relations Manager - Lisa Dunlop.


[font=Palatino Linotype]Good evening, Sir.

Since we couldn't find your phone number in our company records, we decided to check your browsing history through our reliable contacts and we ended up here. I would ask for your phone number to contact you more privately, but by the looks of you, I doubt I would want to have anything to do with you.

But, more on to the matter at hand. I'll try to handle this as professionally as I can.

Dear customer, we regret to inform you that your 6 month subscription to our "Get Smart" Pasta for children expired two weeks ago. When you signed the contract you were warned about the sudden drops in intelligence that may transpire after you stop taking our pasta daily. Usually, these types of drops only happen after a month of not taking it, but judging by your agreed daily intakes, and this topic, I presume the period is shortened with severe cases such as yourself.

We have already received numerous intervention calls from your friends and family...well, ex-friends; about your mood drops, inability to speak and ludacris behavior sprees.

The company blames itself for this, for not keeping close track of your contract expiration date. As such, I would like to offer you another 6 month subscription to our "Get Smart" pasta, with an added 10% discount on the whole package. We are known to make such generous offers to our more, severe clients.

Please go to your closest selling place and sign the papers immediately. It will not only help you, but it will save your everyday surroundings from outbursts such as these.

With deepest sympathy,
Lisa.

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[17:23:05] Mini Me: pls
[17:23:06] Mini Me: gtfo