I just first off want to apologise to you guys for the actions, words, and such which I have spoken and/or said within the past day.
I had a nice talk with one person which needed to be done and I will admit it was a bit enlightening for both of us and a few problems onto such were cleared up.
On the other aspects I wish to explain a few things as best as I can.
As of late I have been under more stress than to quote "What Bill Gates would ever had to deal with when he ran Microsoft". Girlfriend moving in finally after 2 years of a relationship changes alot on one man. Finances being tighter than they used to be have also been adding pressure onto me.
With the Faction I run, +LE+. I am trying to do the best I can as one person running and leading it as one person despite the group being run as a whole. As I stated in one post, so many of us are having trouble enough as it is just to get on for a little bit of activity is difficult, even with proper motivation.
Today was just another example on how Im trying to run a faction of one person with a very limited playerbase with unique aspects of roleplay that surprisingly little to no one else wants to join in. Every day its almost as I'm told: "You're not brigands, council would be best" or "You guys act more like Maquis and Corse to be honest" There is also the difficulty of Gallia in the player sense, a lot of people Ive talked to say its difficult and a bloody circle of doom there and we're doing the best we can just like everyone else.
With all these problems in game and in real life, any normal man would have killed himself by now or taken a break. But for me before today it was literally impossible no matter how much I wanted to do so. And this is the end result.
I've been trying to keep it as to a point I enjoy and want to keep playing as it. But with so many problems I'm beginning to see how it can stay like such. Overall I am sorry for the actions I have done today. Things as I said, just started crashing down one block at a time.
On a side note.. I have a very..very terrible time explaining things into words. So this is the best I could do.
Also on another side note. If people wonder why I get so angry it seems in such on my RP posts is kinda due to my RL problem. I have autism and it doesnt really help when Im fustrated and upset. So yeah. Go figure.
-"If we do not learn at least one thing a day....Our minds turn to stupor"- Kyle Sparrgrove -2005
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