Brakelatabasaasta Message Dump

[Zukeenee]

Comm ID: Brakelatabasaasta
Transmit to: Brakelatabasaasta

Well well well welly-well. Where to start? Tell me where to start, magic life-mask!

*click click chirp tweet*

Okay, we'll start there, then.

So a few days ago, there was this guy, and he was all like "Ha ha ha! You can't see me, 'cuz I'm stealthy!" And I was like, "Follow!" and he was like "No, you can't do that! I'm stealthy!" But I did anyway. Yeah, he got pretty mad. He tried to shake me off his tail a bunch of times, but I had already used my super-sticky Brakelatabasaasta glue. His efforts were futile.

Then he said, "I'ma go home now," and I was all, "Follow!" and we went to a scary spiky-explodey place, and then through a magic-metal-shiny-claw, and then it was all cold and full of ice-things. Then we went though a funny Colour out of Space, which did not drain the life and color out of me as I had expected it to, but we suddenly appeared in a green-place with flatrocks and flatships. And the guy was all, "Home!" and I was like, "Your home is weird!" And there were other people, and they were all, "Do you want to join the Order?" And I was all, "No. I just like to follow people." And then I went and gave the big white planet-thing a hug.

Later, I got a message from a guy saying that the evil Vorpy-man has received yet another bounty on me. WHO THE FISH IS PUTTING BOUNTIES ON BRAKELATABASAASTA?! What have I done? Nothing! That's what. You people make no sense. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only person that makes sense in the entire space-place.

Then today, I went out and started talking with my Dunny-baby, who was stopping people on the whoosh-rings to give out candy. I think. I never saw him, though. Soon, a guy called me and was all, "Hey man, you better stop talking unless you've got a big ship." And I was all, "Hey man, who are you to tell Brakelatabasaasta what to do?" And he started talking about Councils, and "Gebs", and all sorts of death-toys that he had (was he trying to threaten me?), and that I shouldn't be talking, because... well, he was never clear on that. But he clearly had no sense of humor. And got angry at me for talking a lot. So just for him, I began to talk TWICE as much.

But soon after, I came across some guys who were putting on a light show! It was really pretty, with blues and yellows and reds... and then an explosion! After the explosion cleared, there were a bunch of thingies in the space, which I picked up. And hey! Guess what they were! The "nuclear mine" things that I got a launcher for from that one guy all those days ago! I literally quivered with joy and flavor.

I went to play with my new toys and share them with some Rogue-type guys... but, well, it was very sad. I dropped a few of the nuclear-thingies so that the Rogue-types could play too... but they a'sploded. Maybe they were allergic.

And that's about it, really. So let's try putting on this magic life-mask and OH GOD! OH MY FISH! MY FACE! I CAN'T FEEL MY PARTS, MY FACE IS ON FI--

Yeah let's not do that again.

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