CNS - Freeport 10 News Archive

[Howard10]

EDITORIAL

05.12.818 '€“ Earlier today while one of our investigative reporters wasn'€™t stalking Spokesman Lovecrepe around Freeport 10, Freeport 10 News uncovered what could possibly be one of the greatest local finds of the decade. Have you ever heard of the Dice Corporation? No? I wouldn't have thought you had. It is in fact, despite the naming, it is a tiny local business run by resident Dave McGavin from his mother's house on Nine-Deck.

"But what does it do, Mr mysterious and devilishly handsome editor-man?" I hear you cry. Well, worry not, for we did actually investigate this awesome company's activities this time (no, this is not a repeat of the 'Brownwater Scandal'). "So, stop filling space. Just tell me already." Yeah, sure, whatever. Stop nagging me. You're not my mum. Simply put, the Dice Corporation does gambling. After not watching Spokesman Lovecrepe play a game using Dice technology in the window seat on the right hand side of Ken's bar on Four-Deck, we elected to find out what this magical technology was and where it came from.

"You haven't actually explained what it does." Will you shut up? I'm getting to that! It was a holoprojector, that projected the iconic green felt of a blackjack table into the air, a couple of inches above the tabletop itself. This magical device is destined to bring gambling back to Freeport 10 in a big way. After not witnessing this feat of money-generating brilliance, our trained monkeys in the investigative branch tracked down Mr McGavin via his scent, to enquire after an interview.

A short while (and some flung poo) later, we had our statement. "Dice Corp hasn't ever really been anything big. I just use to just tinker with technology and try my hand at programming, then flog the results. That's what led to the '21Greens" machine being developed. I'd been working on that one on and off for the last three or so years. I sold the first one to Mr Lovecrepe, so I'm hoping that this time the product will really take off. Already I'm looking for ways to increase production. I think this could be the one that gets me out of my mum's house."

And there you have it. One man with a skill. One man with a dream. One man with too much junk just laying around. And what was that dream? To get out of his mum's house. Mr McGavin, we salute you. There is no greater purpose in life than creating technology devoted to the higher calling of gambling. But still, questions continue to circle around the machine: how awesome will it be? How much better will it make your sad and boring lives? How much did Dave pay me to write this? All these questions are irrelevant. I'll be buying one when it comes out, and to hell with impartial reporting - you should too!