Evangeline Anastasia McDowell

[Bazza]

Entry#: 126
Date: 10 - 12 - 818 AS @ 21:51 SUT
Title: Untitled.

I had originally hoped that Gunther would be around to hold my hand as we welcomed our daughter into the world, yet, sitting here at the shipyard in Puerto Rico I cannot escape the realisation this little fantasy of mine isn't going to happen. Our girl is going to make herself known very, very soon and unless the man responsible materialises out of nothing equally quickly I fear he is going to miss the day he becomes a daddy.

I have not seen any information on his whereabouts nor seen him myself. I ran from Rheinland for fear of my own life initially yet I find myself wanting to go back to look for him. I have no way of knowing what I'd be flying into. For all I know he could be sitting at his table waiting for me to wash up again, yet, the same chance exists for him to have been killed already with agents of his aggressors looking for us as we speak. I want to believe I'm just being paranoid and it's just my thought process getting all jumbled up but I am unable to neglect these propositions.

On the other side of things; I now find myself in possession of about 3,000 tonnes of gold ore, discreetly stashed away inside the hold and every single nook-and-cranny of the old salvage frigate I had laid away at Vieques.

Ore which now has to acquire a seller - which won't be at all difficult even as I stand now. I may be due to give birth in a week's time _and_ a mental train wreck but I'll be damned if any of this is gonna stop me conducting business. If I go into labour mid-transaction then it's just plain bad luck for whoever gets to bear witness to the whole scene.

I need to work out what I'm going to do after I get rid of this gold. Will I be going back into Rheinland with all the potentially hostile possibilities that exist to try and chase my little Admiral down? Or, will I just go back to the old life I had before, throwing away the entire episode of my life containing Rheinland...

I don't think the second option is valid, really. All things aside, including my own... nature... I still love the poor bastard whose innocence I stole. Even if we have an awkward and strenuous relationship at times, I can't help but feel pain in my chest when I wonder where he is...

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