James "Huggie" McKenna (cause hes soo feeeeely)

[HuggieSunrise]

+ Log starts -

*shuffling noises and grunting as the volume level of the audio adjusts.*

Holy cow... I completely forgot about this thing.

I dont understand how my memory works sometimes. I guess we all get busy from time to time and forget to record our thoughts. In this case I left this log pad laying around the control chair and when those Punks in Hessian bombers showed up and split my baby in two and.. almost me with it I found it!

I picked it up on my way to my... overused... Escape pod. I usually stay inside her when theres a huge hull breach or if the engine core wont shut down or eject.

This is not going to sound good for a psychotherapist to say but.. I got.. red.. mad.. terrible hatred.. flooded out of all ends when those two stopped me. As if I dont move from pointless place to place getting Mollys toilet paper and gingam for dresses. Breathers and eye injectors for rouges and outcasts too far from home. No it all doesn't matter HOW much work you do.. How many friends you have..

How many shields you have. Two bombers with punks for pilots. and entire clan of friends who get blasted BECAUSE of you biting it...

*he sighs..*

Fell bad these people liked me enough to go on .. get shot.. because.. I myself.. got shot.

They aren't there for you when you need them the moment it happens and thus compelled like a tribe of unbuntu warriors to throw spears at the tank rolling through the jungle.

The two punks got iced by a professional the congress has.. one of many however.. this was ..what you would call.. top of the list..

So.. I felt honored and glad the punks died at great experienced. But... I should of let them shot me.. and I should have paid them.. and.. not blown up.. got everyone mad.. and foolishly hurt.. by my misfortune.


* a long pause.. *

I think its time to automate my runs.. I asked for help from the Sentient machines in baffin to rewire my ships to work by remote and be virtually intelligent. And ... its time to.. enact my retirement plans.

Im not leaving Purto Rico until I can talk to Holiday about the mind wipe reversal research I want to do.. and complete before I die..

Im being watched... Not paranoid.. I spent a week on the Hawaii and some agent of theirs managed to visit me in the middle of the night in my room because the new Mods installed on their doll maker weren't making their slaves submissive enough or someone wasn't using the right setting making them into cabbages.

If I wasn't found through the congress.net or on my usual ships they would find me... enforce the contract i signed (it was either get paid to do it or get killed for free) and I would go to some meeting spot on some pilgrim (this is why I hate them and ill never..never..never own one.)

They see Me trying to get my hands on a ship that can disappear for decades and up at a time and it will probably be covered in bombs and sabotage of all sorts. Telling those sick bastards I quit is the goal. No more dolls. No more damn help. oh and top of that screw you im going to fix it and give the technology away for free!..

"Oh well Mr.Smith would you like the horrible death in bullets or rabid ducks with boiling urine and napalm in your eye sockets as you die?"

If Holiday can get the cruiser built to my specifications complete with the labs and therapy centers Ill have a clean.. new mobile headquarters for patients and if the research is fruitful... de fragmentation of labotamised minds and heavily traumatized torture victims.

And in weeks.. not years..

The ship is a cruiser too.. this isnt some piece of crap we pulled together thats "good enough" or some pious and butt hurt junker starts in "you got some problem with junker ships?" No your piece of shat doesn't run on love and wishes.

Spend as long as I have being blown up in them. Oh wait you wont cause youll be dead.

I can work with anything.. and keep it running if possible.. But to actually HAVE a NEW ship built to specifications that last in all the right and wrong conditions. The ability to fix itself?

Im not out to start a war. I want to live comfortably and thats that.

And ... Im not in a hurry to tell the congress. This ship is a personal mission that may interfere with some of thier cattle running interests. I have worked with quite a few but junker nature is that.. if you want to make money.. trust a junker.. if you want to save the world or absolve yourself of your sins... as long as it doesn't hurt business.. trust a junker.

If you want someone to care.. you cant trust a junker. Were all dirty we only show you the stains we want you to.

There is reliability and honesty... as long as you dont contradict someone opinion. Thus far. I trust them withing their ability to be trusted. I know what to pass on and what to be silent about.

The Estium.. Needs to stay a secret.

Guns that blow holes through anything and everything. Cardimine. Slaves. Dolls. Artifacts... these things are used to pay for dirtier and more exclusive favors.

So I need to trust a philanthropist with a work ethic. Someone who has come across victims of my research.. and victims of my research and technology I sold.

John Holiday is the only one.. his Med Force One facilities are an impressive amount of care packed in such a ship. believe it or not.. a Juggernaut isn't large enough for some emergency's... but its better then racks in a cargo bay.. which is what Id be working with if I had to use a pilgrim or some other improvised specifications.

On second thought.. I'm going to get in the bulldog and move to the family's stash in Dublin. least Till I get a meeting date for the good Doctor.

*log ends*