The impure Diamond

[Jansen]

What is right, what is wrong,what is truth and what lie? I am not able to tell the difference anymore. Every time when I think, that I found an answer for something, an answer that would be the truth, I have to ask new questions, more questions and even more confusing ones. Maybe because the answer found was just another lie, maybe the truth is much more complex then I would imagine, or maybe because I am not able to see the truth anymore? I dont know what to think, I dont know that to do, there is no clear path as it was before, until I left the Hessian movement behind. Now everything is blurry, sometimes I even think that the gods left me, that I am not worthy in their eyes.

Encountering another being just increased the confusion, it told me about a prison inside of me, a prison built from doubts. It even tried to show me a way to destroy it, to be free again. But the only way to do so would be to find the lies. How should I find lies if I can not not even tell the difference between the truth and a lie anymore? The only good thing I experienced in the last weeks was the sound of rain, the being created the sound of rain, rain at a place called Gaia. Maybe I will go there somewhen, maybe this is where I can find a solution. Maybe this is the only solution, maybe I am able to find other ways.

Something only the time will show.

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