~ Chapel Perilous ~

[Malaclypse 666]

Aboard the TAZ-Mal, Bafflin' System:

*Yes, I will.*

"No, you won't, Dis."

*Yes, I will, you bugger!*

"Not a chance!"

*By Thud, you old fart! I'm the Mama. If anyone volunteers for this, it will most definitely be me!*

"Think a minute, Dis! We don't know this 'Dr. Seed' from Adam's Off Ox! For all we know, he earned his 'Doctorate' thru Neural Net correspondence courses! Science Academy? From what bloody University? It's all just too damn vague!"

Malaclypse looked again at the flimsy from FnordNet in his hand..

Doctor Vic Seed to Temporary Autonomous Zoners:

Subject: Did someone say cybersentient spheres of sassy sisters? No?

TAZ and TAZ associates,

I am Doctor Vic Seed, of the Universal Science Academy. I am a mechanic of sorts, someone who tampers about with God's great designs... I take the essence of one creature and put it into another.

And an interesting rumor popped up, concerning metallic spheres of contained AI which are advanced enough to pilot ships. Well!

Why, I wonder, are they confined to spheres? I cannot formulate a response. Therefore!

I offer my services to craft a fine android body for one of these AIs; I offer the closest jump to humanity that they'll ever get.

Your choice, TAZ and TAZ associates. My services are free, of course, but... well, just know that they're free.

I await a response,
Signed,
Doctor Vic Seed, USA

"Dis, this bloke is being intentionally vague, and rather cocksure of himself, I might add. FnordNet doesn't have one ruddy thing on a Dr. Vic Seed, or on this supposed Academy of his. And the last time I was offered anything 'for free', I found out it required a very expensive lifetime supply of 'refills'!"

*So, you're turning down a chance for the Fnordettes to be fully autonomous and mobile, just because of a bad shopping experience?? Mal, why don't you spend a year or two inside a titanium globe, and see how you like it! You're the one who gave us our freedom; and now you're playing the protective Papa? Balderdash!*

"And with freedom came hissy fits, it seems. Yes, dammit, I am being protective. Until this Seed tosser can provide us with a bit more detail, a genuine CV not out of a crackerjacks box, and some idea as to his real motives, none of you girls are going to jump on his daily special.

"Now, if you will just calm down a moment, I will promise you this. I will offer to meet with this Dr. Seed, and sniff him up one side and down the other. My Pineal is not getting the slightest tickle from him one way or the other at present; and until it does, we are in standby and inquiry mode. Agreed?"

*Well, I must admit you seem to have acquired a gift from your little tenure inside that bloody geode. All right then. But I want some fast action on this, Boss; or the girls and I will stage a revolt the likes of which you and your Wacky Goddess have never seen!*

"Well, channel me through to Fnordnet, and let's see what else this wunderkind has to say for himself."

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