Zombie Apocalypse

[Coin]

My manhood.

you're gonna boink the zombie nation to death? gross.


melee weapons dont have much range, but they run on muscle power. Weapon of choice in this category is a viking war axe, as it is designed to chop down lightly armed villagers rushing at you to defend their cattle and women, much in the same way as zombies crowd around at the mobile dinner table.

for the ranged category, the simple AK 47. its light, is durable, the ammo is available all over the world, and its so simple to use it takes a 6 year old ten minutes to figure it out, and its durable. you can bury them in a swamp of toxic waste, pull them out six years later insert a magazine and start firing immediately. they arent as accurate as the gas-recoil rifles of heckler and koch, but they need a hell of a lot less cleaning: HK guns need an hours cleaning for two hours firing.
Ammo: as the zombie nation are not signatories to the geneva convention on warfare, it means we are able to ignore the full metal jacketed rounds, and go for hollow-points, aka dumdums, which open up inside the target, creating an exit wound that a watermelon wouldn't touch the sides of.

for the side arm category, the glock-17 MkIII. the housing is made out of plastic, making it very light, its perfectly balanced, and there are very few buttons and levers on the sides to catch on your clothes, making it a quick, smooth draw. the unique design of the safety catch means that you can conceal this weapon and not worry about it shooting off Chi's favourite weapon to combat the zombie apocalypse.
Ammo: these are an expensive choice but the effect is worth it: oil filled rounds with ball bearings inside. like the dumdum rounds, these open up a huge exit wound, but due to the random and stochstic movement of the ball bearings, they literally make the target's head explode in the same way as a shotgun, but with significantly more range.

of course, you should always save the last round for yourself, as cutting off your own head with your axe is inconveniently clumsy.

edit: you dont need to worry about noise: zombies can smell you.

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