Comm ID: Brakelatabasaasta
Transmit to: Brakelatabasaasta
Oh boy oh boy! Today was THE BEST DAY IN THE HISTORY OF DAYS.
I will now proceed to tell you about it, and you will now proceed to listen.
Bert and I launched from Manhattan to find a police-thing happening!
Alexis.Hunter: I protect your ass EVERY DAY LPI-Karl.Agathon[Ca]: seriously... all you have to do is answer the 3 simple questions... and we may let you go Brakelatabasaasta: Oh cool. Ass-protection going on out here. Alexis.Hunter: No, more like this guy wont answer three simple questions. Brakelatabasaasta: Oh. That's slightly less cool.
There was a guy who was being dumb and wouldn't talk to the Pleecemen and the Navymen. He was dumb. After the dumb-guy got dealt with, I talked a lot with the other people nearby. The Pleecemen, the Navymen, and a Hackyman. We talked a lot about mytholowhatsit and how it relates to every day apartment-living. It was actually TOTALLY EXTREMELY IMPORTANT.
Oh, and then a guy came along who was all like... a guy! He didn't say much at first, but he turned out to be a ==>Critical Plot Point<==, just like the Hackyman did. He was a Good Man!
Alexis.Hunter: Hello Mister Goodman... Austin.Goodman: *Nods* Ma'am. Brakelatabasaasta: You're a good man, Goodman! Heh heh... I bet you haven't heard that one, like, seventy-billion times. Alexis.Hunter: *sighs* Really Brakel? Brakelatabasaasta: Really, Alexis. Austin.Goodman: Horrible...pun...
Oh, also, this Alexis-person is always to be called the "Mister-Missus". From now on. IT HAS BEEN SPOKEN, SO IT SHALL BE, NOW AND FOREVER. Then the Hunter-Mister-Missus made a strange statement, which I of course questioned!
[color=#CC33CC]Alexis.Hunter: I am the Navy... Brakelatabasaasta: You ARE the NAVY? Brakelatabasaasta: ALL of it? Alexis.Hunter: No. Brakelatabasaasta: Wow. Alexis.Hunter: Im not Brakelatabasaasta: I'm surprised you're not... um... fatter? Alexis.Hunter: Call me fat again, and I'll show you how two Ragnaroks, one Golden Blade, and a Dark Blossom tear into hull. Brakelatabasaasta: No no no, I mean... the Navy is BIG. And you're... relatively... not-so-big. Austin.Goodman: Lass, you're fat... Alexis.Hunter: *glares at Goodman* Alexis.Hunter: Not helping.
A LOT of stuff happened there. But eventually, I met my new TOTAL BESTEST FRIEND EVER named Slanter. He was the Hackyman I mentioned! We were, like, destined for each other! Although he seemed hesitant at first. See, it started like, the Goodman was all "I'm going to intimidate this Hackyman now!" And Slanter went all like "Catch me if you can!" And I went and followed the Slanterman in my SUPER SECRET STEALTH MODE that I use for SUPER SNEAKY TIMES like this. And then we talked about stuff! And I asked him like, "So what adventures are we gonna go on together?" But he was all like, "Oh, you wouldn't be able to handle it..." But I was like "Nuh-uh! Can too!" And we then had A[color=#FF99FF]DVENTURES.
We went on a wild Synth-Turkey chase at first, which later turned out to be a wild Synth-Lobster chase. We took some Whoosh-Rings and a Magic-Metal-Shiny-Claw thing and then we were in another spacey-place. The Hackyman was looking for a Bunter-Hunter, but he never found it! So we went back to the New York place. Well, He went back to the New York place. I took longer, because some other guys were all lined up at the Magic-Metal-Shiny-Claw. Then when I came out in New York again, I was all like, "Oh no! Slanterman! I lost you!" But he was like "I'll come find you again!" And I waited back in the spacey-place that we met at. Which was between the Giant Oven in the Middle of the System and the [color=#3366FF]Hat of Mans.
Meanwhile, some Angels spoke to me, and told me false things.
Then when I met up with the Slantyman again, he was all like, [color=#FF99FF]"I'mma fight the Good Man now!" And I was like "'Kay" and the Good Man was like "'Kay" and they fought a bit.
Brakelatabasaasta: I just want you two to know, that whoever wins and whoever loses... Brakelatabasaasta: I'll still love you both. Brakelatabasaasta: In a totally, totally, creepy manner.
I helped out by giving the Slanterman some band-aids, but he used them all up without making the Good man use any of his. So he ran. And I followed. And we talked about it.
Slanter: So did I marvelously enough! As is evident... Slanter: Har! Brakelatabasaasta: Yeah yeah! You totally landed at least one shot on him... Slanter: Maybe one... Not more that that! Brakelatabasaasta: Yeah... I might have been exaggerating, too. Brakelatabasaasta: To make you feel better, and all. Slanter: HAR! Slanter: I 'on purpose' need some repairs! Brakelatabasaasta: I see! You taught him a lesson, then, with your 'on purpose' damage!
The Slanterman was so clever that he got hurt on purpose! I knew it was all a part of his MASTER-PLAN! A plan that was clearly so complex and so MASTERFUL, that it was beyond my knowledge as to how that damage could have possibly helped him. Totally.
Then we went to the Junky-home in the big metalcloud and found a guy! He didn't talk or anything, but Slanterman got him to pay his fine! It was a momentous occasion, one which required THEDANCEOFKINGSANDMEN.
Slanter: Excellent! Good show! Look lively! Brakelatabasaasta: Hooray! Slanter: har! Brakelatabasaasta: Now we must dance to celebrate. Brakelatabasaasta: QUICK. ASSUME THE POSITION. Slanter: *dances* Brakelatabasaasta: That was pretty good. Brakelatabasaasta: For a first-timer. Brakelatabasaasta: The Dance of Kings and Men has been danced. Brakelatabasaasta: It will be recorded. Brakelatabasaasta: In the Book of Dancing the Dance of Kings and Men. Brakelatabasaasta: And you will be given... Brakelatabasaasta: A 6 out of 10. Brakelatabasaasta: No... 6.4. Brakelatabasaasta: Good show! You have received 250.000 credits from Slanter Slanter: You are entitled to a part of the proceeds. Brakelatabasaasta: Oh hey. Cool. Brakelatabasaasta: More numbers! Brakelatabasaasta: Cool cool! 'Cuz, y'know... Brakelatabasaasta: I helped and all. Brakelatabasaasta: With my awesome... Brakelatabasaasta: Um... Brakelatabasaasta: Super-powers? Slanter: Charisma. Brakelatabasaasta: Ah! Brakelatabasaasta: Charisma. Brakelatabasaasta: That's like a super-power. Brakelatabasaasta: I wear the Mask of Charisma, the Kanohi Trinuma! Slanter: Excellent! Let us look for more art lovers! Brakelatabasaasta: 'Kay 'kay!
So we went to a Whoosh-Ring and a-pew-pewed it a bit to catch a fish! But... Some big Librarian Bun-Goat came out.
Brakelatabasaasta: Uh oh. That's not a good catch! Slanter: Oh crap! That isn't a transport! It's a small moon! Brakelatabasaasta: I know, right? What are we gonna do now? Slanter: Run?
And run we did! We ran like the Chirping Giraffaroos of Humphreyland... but then I noticed that the Bun-Goat wasn't moving. Or talking. Or doing anything. He was just sitting in the spot he'd popped out of. So I was all like, "What's the deal?" and Slanterman was all like "I'm gonna attack it now!" and then the Bun-Goat gained vocal-chords and was all like "**Hostile intent confirmed. Taking initiative**" and we went right back to running.
Then I talked about my TOTAL BESTEST FRIEND EVER Master Commander Tikuf-Tikuf (or MCTT) with my other TOTAL BESTEST FRIEND EVER Slanterman. I told him all about the Missile Menagerie and his various AWESOME TITLES OF MYSTICAL IMPORTANCE. Bur Slanterman didn't seem that interested.
Then we went to anotherWhoosh-Ring and did another a-pew-pew to it and waited for another catch. But then the SAME BUN-GOAT came out AGAIN and went all like "**Hostile intent confirmed. Taking initiative**"AGAIN and we ran to the Land of Rocks and Purple.
While we were there, we sat and watched the [color=#33FFFF]Bun-Goat from about 9 Krawdads away. And we whispered back and forth about it, wondering why it was just sitting there, and calling it names like Hephaestus and stuff. Then a Xeenam'n came along!
Slanter: Oh crap... A Xeno. Brakelatabasaasta: Oh cool! A Xeenam'n! Sludge: i take it that navy gave ye a wee bit a trouble Brakelatabasaasta: Not really. Brakelatabasaasta: He's, like... crippled. Slanter: Hey Sludge, want to make a Navy missile boat into scrap? Brakelatabasaasta: Ooh ooh! I know! Engaging Charisma-power on the Xeno-man... ACTIVATE. Slanter: NICE MOVE BRAK! Brakelatabasaasta: You have very nice... um... legs. Slanter: Errr. Brakelatabasaasta: They are the leggiest legs of... all the legs I've seen. Brakelatabasaasta: Did it... did it work? Brakelatabasaasta: I think it worked. Brakelatabasaasta: Maybe. Slanter: Hmm. Not convinced. Perhaps leave the physical attraction come-ons til the end next time Brak... Slanter: Once you know the sexual orientation of your Charisma attack? Brakelatabasaasta: Ah yeah. I'll keep that in mind. Thanks, Slantyman! Sludge: well together maybe we can have some fun with the funboat Sludge: i think i am in Brakelatabasaasta: Yeah yeah! That would be AWESOME. Brakelatabasaasta: Teamwork! Sludge: after all. them navy bloaks tend to shoot me Sludge: least i can do is return the favor Slanter: Indeed. They do the same to me Sludge! Sludge: well. shall we go play? Slanter: Indeed! Let us eliminate this opponent to free trade! LNS-Wolfcrest: **Hostile intent confirmed. Taking initiative** Brakelatabasaasta: OH NO. Sludge: hmm think he's mad Brakelatabasaasta: He's aware! Attack with all your might, Super-team!
The struggle the followed this conversation was the MOST EPIC BATTLE OF ALL EPIC BATTLES EVER except NOT REALLY BECAUSE I'VE TOTALLY SEEN MORE EPIC BATTLES IN MY TIME.
But it wasn't that bad. Up until this, that is: Death: Slanter was killed by LNS-Wolfcrest (Gun)
THEN it was bad.
Xeenam'n fled, I fled, and returned to my dumpsterhome after a long day. Slanterman steered his little-bitty escape pod back to Vespucci, and the Bun-Goat... kept on being a Bun-Goat.
All in all, I give this day an [color=#FFFFFF][font=Arial]8 out of 10.
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